Katie Profile picture
Aug 3, 2021 32 tweets 11 min read Read on X
Oh my god so

I highly recommend checking out the Yellow Card Scheme reports that show what side-effects people have self-reported from different covid vaccs:
Menarche is the technical word for the very first time someone menstruates in their life.

So I’m not entirely sure how two people reported that the vaccine delayed its onset and one reported that it brought it on too early

Do they know the future Image
Huge if true Image
The moderna vaccine gave me: ImageImageImageImage
Yes TWO ENTIRE PEOPLE literally reported that they had the side effect of “screaming”

Thankfully it was not fatal Image
HANG ON JUST A MINUTE Image
OH LORD I JUST LOOKED AT PFIZER WHICH IS TWICE THE LENGTH

(For the record, I pruned out anything which could be even TANGENTIALLY related to the jab, there’s more than enough utterly batshit symptom self-reports to play with)
Gosh I wonder what chemical could be related to this foetal warfarin syndrome Image
I’d say “huge if true” but that just seems unfair ImageImage
Oh no Pfizer makes you a gammon Image
“Pfizer made me sound myself” Image
Are you experiencing any of these issues in your life? Have you been vaccinated? BINGO CHECKMATE Image
The Pfizer vaccine made me the finest actor on God’s green earth, with the lush eyelashes of a flirtatious camel ImageImage
What if these are the same person and they’ve just not joined the dots yet ImageImage
I’m not a scientist but I’m pretty sure these weren’t caused by your covid jab ImageImageImageImage
Oh come on now you’re just taking the piss Image
To wrap up I feel a genuine fondness for the 17 people who made this self-report Image
Image
OH LORD I just took a look at the AstraZeneca document which is the longest one yet

BUCKLE UP
For a reminder, this is a good summary of the yellow card scheme which has brought me these glorious documents
Everything listed beyond is something which someone self-reported as a reaction to the AstraZeneca vaccine. I’ve done my best to filter out anything which could even be tangentially related, which sadly means I cannot include the reported reaction of “pain during labour”
AstraZeneca knocked me up Image
“Excuse me? I have a vaccine reaction to report. I’m extremely disturbed by this” Image
“The vaccine did it! I swear!” ImageImageImageImage
AstraZeneca made me Jewish Image
The vaccine did this to me ImageImageImageImage
They’re putting chemicals in the vaccines that turn the friggin' frogs gay! ImageImage
Isn’t that just a bad haircut Image
*looking down at the stick-and-poke cock and balls on my forearm* the vaccine did this Image
The worst side effect of all Image
“…I got better” Image
Factitious disorder is the updated name for Munchausen’s, whether imposed on self or a proxy

“I’m having the symptoms of the disorder where you lie about having symptoms” Image

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Katie

Katie Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @ZiziFothSi

Sep 22, 2022
I've had enough of human superheroes also being mega-geniuses who are coincidentally trained in every known martial art. I want to see a superhero who's dumb as a box of rocks & has developed absolutely zero useful skills
It's called representation
Thor doesn't count because he's an alien
Read 7 tweets
May 28, 2022
Daily reminder that, objectively speaking, everyone you've ever known or loved is a freaky lil ape made of sentient meat
If you ever find someone else intimidating just remind yourself that they too are a freaky meat-ape who used to shit themselves constantly
We are all disgusting and that's beautiful
Read 4 tweets
May 1, 2022
I'm trying not to post about my new job much, on account of how I actually like it, but yesterday I did receive the phone call "why is my cat meowing"
Like. Buddy
If you want a peek into my work though, the first questions are "has the cat always been this noisy or is this new/unusual behaviour", "is the cat neutered", "have there been any changes in the environment lately" and "how are the cat's eating, drinking and toileting habits"
Read 4 tweets
Aug 3, 2021
I think it’s very important for the people to know that both Mads Mikkelsen and his wife Hanne, are hot,
It’s always nice to have something in common with your partner
They’re both dancers
Read 4 tweets
Aug 2, 2021
Walking home from a catsit where I couldn’t find the bin, so I’m jauntily dangling a poo-bag filled with dessicated cat turd as a little accessory, and thinking how hilarious it could be if someone decided to mug me at this very moment
Surprise, bitch! Cat turds in your eyes! Enjoy that toxoplasmosis, sucker!
I do not lie on Twitter dot com Image
Read 4 tweets
May 19, 2021
The real reason they discourage MRIs during pregnancy is because then people would realise they’re incubating nightmare demons and would be rightfully terrified ImageImageImageImage
I like how this one has its hand up like HELLO MOTHER DEAR I AM COMING FOR YOU Image
LET ME OUT

I THIRST FOR THE TUMULT Image
Read 10 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!

Ethereum

0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy

Bitcoin

3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us!

:(