The MD guide to the 60 greatest things found in the back of our cupboards. In order.
Number 60
A tin of Marvel. Consistency of the Great Barrier Reef. Would immediately be arrested for possession of crack cocaine in the event of a police raid today.
Number 59
A small tin of oil
Number 58
A Protect and Survive pamphlet.
'You never know'
Number 57
A lonely tin of unloved soup
Number 56
A solid block of Pine Radox
Number 55
The unimaginable horror of an opened 10 year old jar of Heinz Cucumber Spread.
Number 54
Non-stick sticking plasters.
Number 53
Out of date, dates
Number 52
A highly erratic rubber torch. Never worked during power cuts.
Number 51
An unopened bottle of Quink.
"Bloody hell - it's William Shakespeare!"
Number 50
Calamine Lotion
Number 49
An incomplete puncture repair kit.
Last used on a Space Hopper in 1981.
Number 48
An empty, capless Bonjela tube
Number 47
A rusting tin of Banana Nesquik
Number 46
A 12 year old box of All-Bran. For when 'you needed to go'
Number 45
A single Victory V or Fisherman's Friend
Number 44
A tin of mustard
Number 43
Embassy vouchers and Green Shield stamps.
Number 42
Random Mousetrap parts
Number 41
TCP
Number 40
A tin of Evo Stik that cannot and never will be able to be opened.
Number 38
Milk of Magnesia
Number 37
The never ending tin of lighter fuel
Number 36
A tin of Lux
Number 35
Fiery Jack
Number 34
A plectrum, capo and pitch pipes. The guitar long-gone or still yet to arrive
Number 33
Tartare sauce with lemon
Number 32
Pernod, Martini and Ouzo
Number 31
Treacle
Number 30
Birthday cake candles.
Always one short.
Number 29
A cassette head cleaner
Number 28
Hardened shoe polish
Number 27
Dettol
Number 26
A manual.
For a fridge. A FRIDGE.
A fridge you no longer own.
Number 25
Fuse wire
Number 24
Custard powder
Number 23
The button tin
Number 22
Vicks
Number 21
A solidified pack of the dreaded Old English Spangles
Number 20
A very sticky bottle of Veno's.
Number 19
The widely despised, Smash.
The future. With black lumps in it.
Number 18
The mysterious Witch Hazel
Number 17
Milk bottle tops
Always meant to send them off to the Blue Peter appeal but never got round to it.
Number 16
Blakey's segs
Number 15
Creamola/Andrews
Number 14
An empty cigar tin containing foreign coins and a threepenny bit.
Number 13
An Ericsson phone
Number 12
Encarta '95
Number 11
The bath cube. Simultaneously softened the water and gritted the bath. The nearest thing we got to luxury in the 70s. Only to be used for *best*. Quaint packaging with a terrifying list of unpronounceable chemical ingredients.
Number 10
Atora
Number 9
A copy of Chariot of the Gods?
Number 8
Raffle tickets
Number 7
Germolene
Number 6
A lone, sinister Jumping Jack
Number 5
A 22 year old can of can of Carnation
Number 4
Haliborange
Number 3
"Camp" Coffee
Number 2
Swarfega
🏅 Number One 🏅
Ambre Solaire. Essential for those long (2 day) hot (largely overcast) Airdrie summers. Also doubled up as emergency cooking oil and a WD 40 substitute. One bottle lasted 30 years. For a family of six.
All hail the MD Community 🙏 x
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