Ghost of Mary Shelley: sup fuckers
Carol Joyce Oates: are you the spirit of halloween yet to come
Shelley: you fuckin know it
Oates: of all the spirits tonight, i fear you most of all
Shelley: you should
Shelley: i got some real fucked up shit to show you
Shelley: behold, a terrible future where halloween fucking sucks
Oates: what's going on, why are all these children trick or treating in broad daylight? it's not even 3 pm!
Oates: there's like eight crossing guards for every child!
Oates: this is totally lame
Shelley: so lame
Oates: but what about Tiny Joe Hill?
Shelley: haha well cuz of you, his parents couldn't decorate the house for halloween
Shelley: so he never knew true fear
Oates: but surely he still grew up to write horror novels?
Shelley: no he grew up to write
Shelley: hopepunk
Oates: NOOOOO
Joe Hill: this is a story called Horns
Hill: it's about a guy who mysteriously grows horns but it's ok, everyone in his hometown still loves and accepts him
Oates: NOOOO
Hill: whoa calm down there
Hill: good vibes only
Oates: spirit tell me this can yet be changed!
Oates: spirit!
Oates: [waking up] no no NO!!!
Oates: what... it was all a dream??
Oates: [throwing open window] you there boy! what day is it?
Grady Hendrix: why it's halloween morn, guvna!
Oates: It's... it's halloween morn! I haven't missed it! the spirits did it all in one night!!
Oates: boy, do you know the Dracula's Closet on the corner?
Hendrix: the one with the skeleton as big as me?
Oates: haha a clever boy
Oates: go down there & tell them Carol Joyce Oates wants the BIGGEST skeleton they have
Oates: and there will be a shiny tupence in it for you!
Stephen King: carol! we uh didn't expect you
Oates: [carrying a bulging sack] humph humph halloween? humbug what are you doing in here, some sort of halloween party? humbug
King: whats in the bag?
Oates:[barely containing laughter] it's all humbug!!
Oates: i've come pffft to remind you pffffft how much i hate halloween heh heh
Tabitha King: why is there a 12 foot home depot skeleton on the lawn
Oates: hahahaha
Oates: oh you should have seen your faces
Oates: ahahha
Stephen King:
Tabitha King:
Oates: i met 3 spirits who showed me the truth about halloween
King: were you hanging out with Fitz James O'Brien
Oates: well i did see him last night before this all went down
Tabitha King: did he uh
Tabitha King: give you any candy?
Oates: why yes
Oates: but
Oates:
Carol Joyce Oates had no further intercourse with Spirits & it was always said that she knew how to keep halloween well, if any one alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us & all of us! So as Tiny Joe Hill observed, a very merry Hallo and a happy new ween!
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