Thread by @tomiahonen

Flippathon Thread 1/

As the Beijing Olympics 2022 are starting, all eyes are on the main event, the Grand #Flippathon - Patriotic crowds have gathered to picnic bringing their own gallows

Let's get Vegas odds on the superstars of the Flippathon event at #Beijing2022 #Olympics

Flippathon Thread 2/

A massive magafavorite of the #Flippathon 2022 is Steve Bannon. Bannon is no run of the mill scumbag and Trumpomobster. A true monster human* being, has tons of crimes he brings to bargaining table with FBI, in attempt to plea bargain

* not confirmed

Flippathon Thread 3/

His past crimes include 'mind rape' (Bannon's words, not mine) of Republicans via Cambridge Analytica & Facebook. Bannon was behind Muslim ban. He launched Breitbart News. So he is about as as vile as they come. Scaramucci ranks him as worst #Trumpomobster

Flippathon Thread 4/

Already convicted felon once, Bannon was pardoned by Trump. And as a US champion flipper, 'Steve the Weasel' successfully ratted out Roger Stone who was sentenced to prison

Vegas odds on flipping: 99%
Possible asylum country (none)

Flippathon Thread 5/

Perennial favorite flipper is notorious serial butt-dialer and alleged attorney Rudy Giuliani, the Grand Duke of Four Seasons Total Landscaping (parking lot). Rudy Colludy has confessed his crimes on live video, so he is utterly screwed. He has to flip

Flippathon Thread 6/

As America's Mayor turned America's Vampire is former Federal prosecutor who sent Mafia killers to life in prison, he is in mortal danger inside any federal housing. He will spend his prison time in solitary confinement. This means he is in a rush to flip

Flippathon Thread 7/

Sir Buttdial McRudypants had been under federal wiretap on January 6, so all his phone calls from his War Room at Willard hotel were meticulously recorded by FBI. Anyone dumb enough to call Rudy on Jan 5 or 6 was thus also caught. They may bear a grudge

Flippathon Thread 8/

Rudy Colludy had built a powerful 'insurance file' with evidence of numerous #Trumpomobster crimes but this evidence was seized when FBI raided his office. So Rudy has less to bargain with. Thus his odds to flip have been reduced to

Odds on Flipping: 99.7%

Flippathon Thread 9/

Strong gold medal candidate in this year's Flippathon is Fred Flintstone's evil Nazi cousin, Bill Barrstone. Barr took early leave of the rapidly sinking SS Trumpomonster already in December 2020 departing before others, to prepare for the Flippathon.

Flippathon Thread 10/

Universally hated by every Trumpomobster, Mr 'A Bit Snitty' thought foolishly that Trump would sign the Presidential Pardon that Trump dangled in front of Barr at every meeting. But Barr kept meticulous notes of all who begged Trump for pardons.

Flippathon Thread 11/

Bill Barrstone was advising Trump on the pardons, & told Trump to demand explicit confessions when Trumpomobsters in his administration begged for Pardons. Barr knows more about fellow criminals than most & is in top form this year

Odds of flipping: 99.8%

Flippathon Thread 12/

Unstable volcanic mineral The Rogerstone ran his own War Room in the Willard Hotel too. He was surrounded by toy soldier Oath Keepers who immediately when caught, abandoned their oaths, confessed to Jan 6th and are now ratting out Roger Stone

Flippathon Thread 13/

The Girl With The Nixon Tattoo is a degenerate convicted criminal who was of course pardoned by Trump. Vegas Oddsmakers eagerly anticipate the grudge match of Bannon vs Roger Stone, who gets to flip on the other, first. This is a rat-eat-rat lovefest

Flippathon Thread 14/

Roger is so terrified of prison, he blackmailed Trump. He knows Trump crimes going back decades, and was point man with Trump selling Presidential Pardons. He can also deliver creeps like Jared the Bone Saw Boy.

Odds on Flipping: 99.9%

Flippathon Thread 15/

Vegas oddsmakers are downgrading odds of previous champion scumbag, and famed Pom-Pom Girl Felicity Pomposity. Pompeo seems to be off his game. He foolishly hired Taliban Mullah Baradar as his #flippathon coach & had Trump release Taliban terrorists

Flippathon Thread 16/

Hated universally by all who know him, Pompeo's enemies all kept records about how hard he tried to launch a nuclear war against Iran, on behalf of Saudi Arabia

Odds of naming the countries on his own quiz map: 0.00%
Possible asylum country: Afghanistan

Flippathon Thread 17/

General Michael Flynn of Russia wearing a US uniform, was paid by Russia when working for the Trump campaign. Flynn conveniently forgot to mention this payment and became US National Security Advisor. Is a convicted felon. Trump of course pardoned him

Flippathon Thread 18/

Flynn is a Vegas oddsmaker favorite for his immense stupidity to go back to criming after he had received a Presidential pardon. He can deliver Don Jr, Eric, Jared when he rats everybody out

Odds on Flipping: 99.99%
Possible asylum country: Russia

Flippathon Thread 19/

War criminal and scumbag Erik Prince (brother of racist bastard Betsy DeVos) is skipping this year's #Flippathon. He is in exile hiding in the UAE. He will be tried in absentia, have his assets seised, passport revoked & becomes an international fugitive

Flippathon Thread 20/

Butthead Trump is about to be indicted in NY for tax fraud. He is a bit too coked up to figure out, that his slimy sister Entitlement Barbie has already flipped & has been wearing a wire. This reduces dramatically Don Jr's chances

Odds on Flipping: 98%

Flippathon Thread 21/

Repulsican traitor & Ranking Molester Gym Jordan (Q Talibanistan) was not aware Trump had helpfully told DOJ in December that Jim was 1 of 3 'R Congressmen' who were plotting overthrow of democracy. Jordan was under surveillance

Odds of flipping 99.99%

Flippathon Thread 22/

America's sharpest strategist, the My Pillow Guy flattered Trump so much on Fox, Trump invited the moron to his January Insurrection, Terrorism & Tourism party. Fully soft in the head, will not be offered plea bargain

Odds on care in mental asylum: 99.999%

Flippathon Thread 23/

Repulsican traitor & Chairman of the AGA, the American Gargoyle Association, Rep Gosar, seen here smiling for the cameras, is in strong form. Gosar dangled promises of Presidential pardons to encourage seditionists to commit crimes

Odds of flipping 99.999%

Flippathon Thread 24/

Perennial favorite in the #Flippathon is the path to Hell, the Conway. Kellyanne of the forked tongue, is named after the fork on the road, just before the Gates to Hell, which are in Helsinki, as distinct from the Gaetz of Hell who molests teens in Florida

Flippathon Thread 25/

Beavis Trump's father Gary Busey would not comment on Eric's whereabouts. He seems to miss this year's annual Trumpomobster #Flippathon due to being lost in a toilet. Nobody has sent search parties after him

Odds on eating paste: 97%

Flippathon Thread 26/

Disqualified from this year's Flippathon is crowd favorite, Louie Gohmert, who tried to enter himself under an alias. He put on some lipstick and a wig, and tried to enter Womens' Flippathon as Lauren Boebert

Odds of altering moon's trajectory: 0.0000000%

Flippathon Thread 27/

Chairman of the AFA, the American Fly Association, the Waxdoll Pence, is making another hopeless run at this year's #Flippathon. He still imagines that a party that tried to hang him, would some day love him so much, they nominate him for President

Flippathon Thread 28/

The candidate of the SBSA, the Saudi Bone Saw Association, Jared Kushner is in two tough brackets. He faces off against Tom Barrack for 100 years for extorting Qatar, and against Roger Stone for 700 years selling Presidential pardons

Odds on divorce: 96%

Flippathon Thread 29/

Entitlement Barbie has been disqualified from this year's flippathon, as she had flipped prematurely already last year, to Manhattan DA, and is now ratting out Beavis & Butthead Trump, and her creepy Daddy.

Odds of ever having tasted Goya beans: 0.00%

Flippathon Thread 30/

Over at the Gaetz of Hell, the Honorable Rapey McForehead forgot to prepare for the #Flippathon, while Matt was venmoning teenagers. His rapist-pals Joel Grenberg & Joe Ellicott flipped

Odds of rapist Gaetz having a rough time in prison for 20 years: 100%

Flippathon Thread 31/

As always in the Grand Flippathon, Gold medal flippers do not escape prison. Even the most succesful flippers among Trumpomobsters will do years inside

Second place is a set of steak knives

Flip first, flip fast. Don't become #Levparnassed

Flippathon Thread 32/

As always, the Annual #Trumpomobster Grand #Flippathon ends with the inspiring uplifting song of timing in taking a plea bargain:

The Ballad Of Lev Parnas