Thread by @iowahawkblog

Fuck the Olympics

I am enthusiastically going to miss every goddamn second of them, you corporate totalitarian-fluffers

Don't miss the Xtreme stars going for the Toyota® gold in rad freestyle snowboarding on the Olympic® Games presented by Visa® exclusively on NBC and NBCSN! Download the Peacock® streaming app from Apple® or Google® !
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*may contain propaganda, slave labor, and virus labs

This is an event so momentous and spectacular it took all of the world's creepiest corporate and government supervillains working together to bring it to you

Congrats to Ming Zhou and Li Chaoxiang of China for advancing to the medal round in Pairs Journalist Arresting

And right on cue, this garbage website auto-emojis #Olympics #OpeningCeremony #Beijing2022 for you, like good little totalitarian pep squad bootlickers

I award you 1.5 social credits, beep boop

Machine learning developed at the Guanzhou Institute of Advanced Groovy American Teen Slang Talk

In fairness to Milkshake Duck, people only happy-tweeted about him *before* they found out he was a racist

Leni Reifenstahl's Olympia 2022, presented by Nike

Always a good idea to be a gracious guest, especially when your host runs a slave labor dungeon in his basement

Please note: network ad buys now often have audience size guarantees. If the audience is smaller than guarantee, the network ends having to make-good with free spots on other programs.

Be a real shame if NBC had to run a year-long fire sale on their ad inventory due to this