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I delve into shadowy funding/networks of propagandists 2.0 (when I can). You can buy me research time here if you want: https://t.co/6xhHdSbuWY

Feb 16, 2022, 9 tweets

A “thank you universe” thread
(Sarcasm warning)
So yesterday I gave my old -but still working- iPad2 to my adoptive daughter for her birthday
She was *thrilled* and spend hours designing medieval dresses
Then guess what happened?

What happened was the charging socket *inside* the tablet decided now was the optimal moment to die
On my daughter’s birthday
Right after she spent hours enjoying her favourite present ever
Which felt like

Trying to cheer her up I joked about the universe owing us one -& that surely it was going to be delivered soon
Today, surprise: An unexpected package from Amazon (that I never ordered) was sitting in the mail box
Could have been my son birthday present but no
Guess what it was?

-suspenseful music-

It was…

It was…

a HDMI cable.

That I didn’t order (or paid for) but have exactly 0 use of.

F*ck you universe

Oh and here comes more useless universe help

F*CK YOU UNIVERSE

(I’m highly trained in not getting what I need or want but idk spare me the ironic piss-takes?)

Ok I’ll sit down

Ok i take it back miracles happen
(Or is insulting the universe a valid prayer or something?)

(Hey f*ck you universe could my dream guy be delivered in this life while we’re at it? Yes it would require like an existing line of communication)

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