Thread by @QuinnyPig

Hello, New York. I'm here in person at the #awssummit, and this is my keynote livetweet thread.

Thanks for joining me. We'll get started in a few minutes.

The usual sponsor scroll slides are up. I hope to one day be sponsored to the point where these companies all slap their logos on me until I'm decked out like a race car.

And we're starting with a video talking about how deeply important the @awscloud and @intel partnership is. Since Intel is sponsoring this keynote surely they won't tell a Graviton3 story that makes Intel look bad!

"Tens of thousands of customers using SageMaker." After last week's SageMaker Canvas billing debacle, I'm guessing a quarter at least are unaware that they're one of them.

Now @thebeebs gets up to say that @werner is very ill, so he'll be putting the "DR" in "Dr. Vogels" today as a just-in-time replacement.

"We've come a long way from our first region in Virginia." Here at the NY #awssummit we're only four hours away from @awscloud's us-east-1 after accounting for traffic, so I dunno...

"Why do customers choose AWS?" Because Azure's security is terrifying, AWS beat the others to the punch by five years, and migrations are hard, if you're asking me.

Meanwhile there are some *delightful* people here today.

"It's still day one" is the worst freaking thing you can hear when you're invoicing people on NET30 terms.

Now @thebeebs is talking about the size of the rocket boosters on the space shuttle being dictated by rail size which was determined by the width of two horses side by side in ancient Rome.

Consultants unsurprised that the rocketship is determined by a pair of horses' asses.

"Choose the most innovative cloud" may not necessarily end the way they assume it will. I can say a lot about CloudFlare, Google, Oracle Cloud, etc--but I would not say they suffer from a lack of imagination.

Incumbents grow complacent. See: data transfer egress pricing.

Speaking of ancient times, @thebeebs is talking about the history of hypervisors starting with the Dark Ages of Xen.

Now talking about Nitro, which I'm told is a form of @awscloud vaccine. I think. All I heard was "custom hyper-Pfizer."

I snark, but Nitro is basically magic. Now talking about the Nitro Enclave options. Think of this as "Confidential Computing" style stuff if you distrust / hate your sysadmins, kinda.

Today @awscloud offers more processor architectures than they originally did EC2 instances.

Gotta say, I don't know how much notice @thebeebs had that he'd be delivering it today, if he was an understudy, etc, but he is *nailing* this #awssummit keynote.

Okay, flag on the play. @awscloud is *not* the best cloud for *every* application. That's the kind of overstepping that erodes marketing trust.

Now extolling the virtues of AWS Outposts. I do find myself wondering why they offer EC2 instances and Storage, but not any of their custom databases (Aurora, DynamoDB, etc).

"Shitty Kindle in Space" is an uncharitable description of "we sent a freaking AWS SnowCone to the freaking ISS."

"We now have AWS in space, closer to our customers." Uhhh... how many AWS customers are in space? I mean the pricing is TO THE MOON and all but...

ANNOUNCEMENT: AWS Cloud WAN. Easily build, manage, and monitor global Wide Area Networks.

Because it's a networking service I'm already bracing for the pricetag.

Now a customer story: @lizthegrey from @honeycombio.

I love love love how human the slides are.

"We pioneered Observability," which is Hipster Monitoring. Liz is currently on stage so she can't "help me down some stairs" for that observation.

Okay, the Gartner Magic Quadrant® on a slide featuring Honeycomb is just... I don't even know how to properly snark about this.

Liz points out that @honeycombio only has 50 engineers. Now, into the migration story.

Graviton2 led to 10% median latency reduction. 30% improved throughput with Graviton3.

I want to point out that there's always an element of "conferenceware." The part that @lizthegrey isn't saying is that @honeycombio's engineering team is preternaturally good at their jobs. They're significantly ahead of the curve.

I wanted to build the Twitter client I'm using to write this thread (lasttweetinaws.com) on Graviton, but half the regions it's deployed to don't support Graviton Lambda functions. That's the kind of "fun" thing you only find out mid-deployment.

"It's hard to imagine how big 97 Zetabytes really is."

No, but I can tell you how much retail pricing would be to store it in S3. "All the money." AND DO NOT SEND IT TO THE INTERNET!

Data management is an increasing problem. We used to have a natural cleaning function in the form of "failed drives" and "datacenter fires, some of them suspicious." @awscloud has solved for those so now we have to think about these things ourselves.

Honestly, my data strategy is "throw it into S3 Intelligent Tiering and wait," they'll generally innovate on that way faster than I will myself.

Eagerly awaiting an AWS Analytics Service to tell me which AWS Analytics Service to use.

ANNOUNCEMENT: Amazon Redshift Serverless is GA today.

"We built Amazon QuickSight in 2016 from the ground up." @aselipsky promptly decamped to go turn @tableau into a rocketship.

I make fun of QuickSight. I pay for Tableau.

I *want* QuickSight to be better than it is. I want to use it! I don't want to pay Tableau / Salesforce *more than my @awscloud bill* just for a BI solution!

I'll go into it later, but the newly announced @awscloud Cloud Wan service's pricing is so byzantine / horrible that *I cannot find a way to work it into a screenshot*. More to come on that front.

And as seemingly happens every time there's an #awssummit in the Javits center, a protestor starts screaming incoherently in the back. @thebeebs recovers *excellently*.

No, no, no. "Training 25 million people in Machine Learning®" is the wrong answer, "making it usable enough to use without training" is the right one.

But teaching the next generation is laudable.

Now talking about the DeepRacer League. My money's on @mosescj58 sneaking his actual race-car onto the track.

Now another guest speaker. Elliott Cordo (Head of Data at @CapsuleCares) talking about modernizing the pharmacy experience.

"Day One Analytics" are apparently a necessary part of a microservices architecture. That's not snark, it's an observation.

SageMaker for predict refills but never the SageMaker bill itself.

I'm expecting the keynote conclusion to be @thebeebs and a celebrity customer coming out, touching fingers, and just like the Apple U2 album we all get a surprise downloaded instantly into our @awscloud bills.

Spare a thought for all of the @awscloud employees here putting on the #awssummit instead of being able to spend Prime Day at home with their families.

ANNOUNCEMENT: Amazon DevOps Guru's Log Anomaly Detection is now GA. Now you can pay an @awscloud service to ignore your logs rather than ignoring them manually the way you do today.

"As @werner would say, Now Go Build(tm)." @thebeebs inadvertently conducted a masterclass in how to give a dynamite engaging keynote to many thousands of people.

I hope and expect to see him on the keynote stage again soon.