Thread by @docbhooshan

#Thread #compassion

Few days ago i was invited to give a talk at SKN Medical College,Pune on Positive Mental Health with Compassion. Audience was doctors. Postgrad trainees and teaching staff.

This is what i spoke -

1. Of all the people i meet socially, doctors are the most unhappy lot. They complain, whine and in general one feels horrible at the end of interaction.

What are we doing wrong?
Is the pain of our patients and our punishing work schedules making us unhappy?

2. I found my answer in @DalaiLama 's teachings on compassion. I developed a model of action that works for me (most times). I shared this model with the audience of doctors to experiment with it and see what works for them.

3. Step one - emotional action
Step two - deliberate practice of compassion in action.

Allow me to elaborate -

4. Step One - Emotional action.
In spite of being in a cerebral kind of work, my reflexes and reactions are driven by my dominant emotion. I am usually not aware of this. So i get dragged around by my emotion or develop a "clinical" persona that is matter of fact and dry.

5. So i must become aware of my emotional state on moment to moment basis. I identify the prevailing emotion with a precise word.
There are many such emotional vocab tools on internet. I use this one - (i dont know the creator of this one)

6. Once i am able to identify the emotion - if it is positive, i flow with it. If it is negative, i ask myself - if it was opposite, how would i act?
Opposites -
Anger • Curiosity
Sadness • Contentment
Fear • safety
Lust • Love
Jealousy • Appreciation / wonder

7. By forcing my action according to a positive counterpart emotion, i protect myself and people around me from a bomb-last of negative action. And i may start experiencing a genuine positive emotion due to my action.

8. It is important to not justify or rationalise emotion. Just accept it as it is. Emotions are internal signals. There is no wisdom in fighting signal. It is their to guide or act on.

9. Step Two - Deliberate practice of Compassion as a doctor -
Over and above my clinical examination, diagnosis, treatment related discussion, i try to fine ONE thing that will reduce suffering of person/family visiting me.

10. I do this by finding commonalities in myself and my patient. It is really easy. There is got to be a lot common in two human beings.
Usual common experiences are - being a parent, time and money pressures, ambitions, disappointments, fears, suffering.

11. Medical training trains me to only think rationally and leave emotion out. It may have been okay in 19th century. But for my patients and myself such matter of fact interactions are inadequate. Hence finding commonalities and practicing compassion.

11. It involves a genuine warm smile and saying specific and true things that reduce their burden. E.g. you have not caused autism in your child by your actions or something that you forgot to do. You are not responsible for this. Or holding the baby in my lap so that mother can

talk freely.

Simple acts and statements of truth reduce suffering and burden.

I aim for one compassionate action per session. Modest and achievable goal.

12. Emotional action requires practice over weeks and months and it works very well.

13. Deliberate Compassionate action comes easily to all of us.

14. This protects me from burden of care as it gives me something positive to do in most difficult/ hopeless situations (there are many of those everyday) and it instills positive emotion in my patient.

Everyone gains. My little world becomes more tolerable and hopeful.

15. I found @DalaiLama 's compassionate practice lectures and writing helpful. It saved my emotional life.

I wish you all same diligent practice and happiness 🙏🏻
Bhavatu Sabb Mangalam (May good things happen to all)

16. Comments welcome.

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