Ten things that will not protect you from an airborne virus that moves through the air like smoke.
1
Sanitiser
2
Perspex screens
3
Denial
4
Bravery
5
The World Health Organisation
6
Washing your hands
7
Your government
8
2m distancing
9
Optimism
10
Ignorance
11
Cloth masks
12
Joe Biden
(sorry Joe)
13
A mask under your chin
14
Wishful thinking
15
Optional isolation
16
You do you
17
A surgical mask
18
Surrender
19
The infection control team
20
Closed windows
21
Mass delusion
22
Pretending it's a cold
23
Newspapers owned by billionaires
24
Cleaning surfaces
25
Slogans
26
Nutjobs
27
Indecision
28
A mask that's in your pocket
29
Vaccines on their own
30
Snake oil
31
Luck
32
Holding your breath
33
Being a child
34
Having had Covid already
35
Being outdoors
36
A test kit
37
Being sporty
38
Wealth
39
Blaming something else
40
Knowing/not knowing the person who is ill
41
The economy
42
The decision to live with Covid
43
Minimisers
44
Someone telling you it's safe to take your mask off
45
The room being empty
46
Calling it endemic
47
Being in a classroom
48
A strong constitution
49
Horse de-wormer
50
Being newly born
51
Swagger
52
Your qualifications
53
Perspex face shields
54
Corners
55
Unused mitigations
56
Gloves
57
Misconceptions
58
Magical thinking
59
Positive thinking
60
A conference invitation
61
Scorn
62
Your track record at avoiding catching it
63
Antiviral treatments
64
Group twos*
*see here
65
Group threes*
*see here
66
Not touching your face
67
Being totally over it
68
Hopium
69
The macarena
(it's a thing)
70
Other people
71
Procrastination
72
Hindsight
73
Delay
74
Apathy
75
Incompetence
76
Facing away from someone
77
Avoiding eye contact
78
Hepa filters that are switched off (eg in an aeroplane flying)
79
A mask that you have taken off for a photo
80
Marketing
81
Consultants*
*except clean air consultants
82
Not believing in covid
83
Chief Medical Officers/Provincial Health Officers/Your Regional Variation Of The Above
84
Religious belief
85
Good intentions
86
Nicotine patches
87
Coughing into your elbow
88
Sneezing into your elbow
89
Throwing away your tissues carefully
90
Vitamins
91
Clean living
92
Blaming allergies
93
Being with family
94
Seasons
95
Herd immunity
96
Hot weather
97
Holidays
98
A mask over your mouth but not your nose
99
Misinformation
100
Right Said Fred
Oh okay then, for the Canadians:
101 Bonnie Henry
I'm taking requests now.
102
Privilege
103
Ending mandated mitigations
104
Thoughts and prayers
105
A mask that you have taken off so you can eat or drink
106
A poor understanding of physics
107
(against BQ.1.1, XBB and their friends)
Evusheld
108
Butthole sunning
(yes, that really was a thing)
109
Pulling your mask down to talk to someone
110
A perky attitude
(sorry Prof @DoencaProf)
111
A cruise booking
112
Indoor dining
113
Thinking you're being careful when you're not being careful
114
Being with people you know
115
Special final mentions for cow dung, horse urine, perfume, your race, your blood type, father christmas, and rupert murdoch.
And then if you want to know what *can* protect you, read on here:
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