Thread by @jiahweing

When I was a first year medical resident, I became a mother.

Right before I delivered, I was the star intern.

But when I came back 4 weeks after giving birth, the Attendings were asking:

"What happened to Jia?"

• I disappeared in the middle of rounds.
• I didn't know my patients well.
• I completed my notes late.

What was I doing instead?

• Sneaking out 4 times a day to pump.
• Calling my mom to see how my baby was doing.
• Feeling guilty because I chose to go back to work so soon.
• Feeling worried that others will notice that I was no longer putting 100% into work.

Why was I hiding my new role as a mother?

As an International Medical Graduate, getting to a residency program in the US was a dream come true.

Inside, I felt like I was indebted to the residency program.

"They gave me this career opportunity, they gave me a visa...I must not show my vulnerable side"

Then friends and co-residents extended their hands to help.

"Have you had lunch? Let me buy you something."
"Do you want me to hold your pager while you go pump?"

My tribe was with me.
I did not have to hide.
I started to embrace motherhood both at home AND at work.

I told my Attendings that I had to pump at certain times.
They adjusted the rounding time to my schedule.
No questions asked.

Who knew it was that simple.

I brought my child to dinner events unapologetically.
My co-residents took turns holding my baby while I tried to eat.

I accepted people's help.

It was only years later that I learned that other residents were observing my motherhood journey.

They were watching me not to judge, but as a source of inspiration and courage.

They felt like, they too can become a parent while advancing their careers.

Motherhood in medicine should be celebrated, not be hidden.

We may feel the need to hide our vulnerability.

But often times,
Our vulnerability is seen as courage by others.

Show people the whole you.

Who knows, you may change someone else's life.

#womeninmedicine #academicchatter #academictwitter