i spent 2 hours curating a twitter blue screenshot storyline for my parents so here u go, for your own offline friends that want to have fun:
DAY 1 – ARRIVAL
launch is still a few days out! but the legacy bluechecks have begun to go rogue
2 DAYS UNTIL LAUNCH
o elon laid off half of everyone like a week ago, executives that weren’t laid off have been fleeing, this lady sleeps in her office now for the privilege of delivering a system to verify any rando with $8 within a week
1 DAY UNTIL LAUNCH
LAUNCH DAY
TWITTER BLUE – DAY 2
TWITTER BLUE – DAY 3
i think this one is real?
if u buy twitter blue for reasons other than mayhem whenever you tweet everyone bullies you
the before times
in the way before times (2018) they were so AGGRESSIVE about banning the round the world elons. this man would grow up to have no concept of impersonation 4 years later
and here we are today
i don’t think this website will thrive :(
anyway if you are on this website you possibly work for him now
ok i did not actually send all these to my parents. i forgot i introduced it like that, if u sent it to your mom on faith it would be family friendly content that’s my bad
ok also as u can see the timeline is not exact, this thread should not be admitted in a court of law
ok i cut some stuff from the beginning because i was worried it would take too long to get to the meat… by popular demand, stephen king
the extortion approach to finding advertisers
“Elon Musk sending people to Mars” will never sound the same. A man that thinks he should sell twitter users verification symbols for $8 will need an outlet and simply unplug the oxygen machine
we are unplugging the oxygen machine and you will be fired if you object
Relatedly, more questions for this random guy
probably!
ok I know it is so good but I am sorry to say dojacat can’t go in the thread because it isn’t real
i don’t think that’s enough
one of the REMAINING employees
probably should have done it
to literally every employee, simultaneously
counterpoint: elon musk is doing this to save the world
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