Here is a very serious list of people you run into on campaigns since #TOpoli is heating up. To be taken 100% literally:
Phone Call Phantom:
⁃this person is always on the phone and usually walking quickly
⁃never leaves a meeting with action items
⁃they look busy but you’re unsure if you’ve seen them do any work
⁃confident, loves hierarchy as long as they’re at the top of it
Small Favour Salamander
⁃full of seemingly reasonable requests
⁃give an inch, they take a mile
⁃love to go outside official processes
⁃every time you think it’s gone, the favour grows back, just like a salamander’s tale
⁃you know THEY know what they’re doing
Director Baba Yaga
⁃big vision
⁃“Campaign Veteran”
⁃sets up goals impossible to meet with no direction
⁃does not care if you’ve seen your kids this week, you’ll see them after E-day
- will casually drop the most unhinged anecdote of someone kind of famous
Comms Coven
⁃bleed red ink
⁃will kill your darlings
⁃intense about approvals
⁃seem to have a secret language of eye rolls and pointed sighs among themselves
⁃you’re scared of their lighting ability to go from vaguely terrifying to Customer Service Voice chipper
The Go Getter Ghost
- shows up out of nowhere mid campaign
- super eager to help
- just not on canvassing, data entry, phone banking, or anything “entry”
- offer to draft policy (two weeks out from election day)
- disappears as randomly as they came in the first place
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