Thread by @ChrisO_wiki

1/ What can Russian soldiers do with thousands of useless Starlink terminals? One Russian warblogger has some humorous suggestions. ⬇️

2/ 'BKGB Casuar' writes:

"Here are 10 ways to use a broken terminal in the Special Military Operation zone:

3/ "1. Butt Kick.

The ground in the trench is cold and damp, and Elon Musk's plastic is warm and high-tech. Use it as an elite seat. Now you're not just a soldier in the mud, but a cyberpunk on a throne, whose butt is protected from moisture by American technology.

4/ "2. Snowshoes.

If you have two broken terminals and a lot of tape, you are the owner of elite snowshoes. The large surface area will prevent you from falling into a snowdrift or deep mud.

5/ "You'll walk through the swamp like Jesus, making everyone who hobbles in regular combat boots envious.

6/ "3. Shovel for emergency "digging in."

If the main shovel is lost, the Starlink turns into an excellent shovel. The soil capture area is huge! A couple of swings, and you've got not just a hole, but a foundation for a future dugout.

7/ "4. Souvenir

At the end of your service, you can sign the plate with your entire unit, write wishes and names of cities.

8/ "This will be the heaviest, most inconvenient, but also the most pompous souvenir, which you can bring home and hang on the wall in your garage as a monument to the era of "wars and high technology."

9/ "5. Kennel for a front-line cat

If your unit has a cat, it deserves the best housing. Two plates connected at an angle form a hut. The cat will sleep in warmth and comfort, knowing that its home is worth more than everything else in the dugout.

10/ "6. Reinforcement for the roof of the dugout

If there are a lot of terminals, you can use them to lay out the roof. This is not only protection from the rain, but also a psychological weapon. Any [Ukrainian] drone flying by will simply be amazed.

11/ "7. Cutting board

The body material is very durable. Cutting food on it is a pleasure.

12/ "8. Improvised Paddle:

If you need to cross a small puddle or river, the Starlink is the perfect paddle. Its hydrodynamics are incredible; Elon clearly had something in mind when he designed the shape.

13/ "9. Rain Shield:

Cover your gasoline generator with it when it rains. Now you have a "hybrid power system": Chinese hardware rattles underneath, and a satellite dome covers it from above. Looks incredibly reliable.

14/ "10. Tactical Map Pad:

Take a marker and draw a map of the area right on the plate. It's big, white, and you won't feel sorry for it. And if a sabotage and reconnaissance group shows up, just wipe it all down with a rag soaked in diesel fuel. No digital traces!" /end

Source:
t.me/Kazuar72sho/38…