Thread by @segalink

Living in a neighborhood with people of diversity can be so refreshing. Here I was thinking that the folks living in the multi tenanted building next to mine had a set of twins and two other kids. Until today when I finally connect the dots. #LoveThyNeighbour

For years I have been overhearing the man instruct his brothers (I guess he has about 2 of his younger siblings living with him also) “Lö tan Táiyé” (Go switch on Taiwo). Some other days he would say “Lö tan Kenny” (Go switch on KENNY). I kept wondering what the Hell! 🤔

If I don’t know better I would have thought his twins were Igors or Frankensteins that needed electric jolts to come alive. But I chose to be patient. So on some days he would say “Lö tan IDee”- (Switch on Idowu) then weekends “Lö tan Àlàbá” (switch on Alaba). 🤔

I couldn’t but notice that in the same compound over my fence, I hear murmurs of the Neighbours’ grievances about the cacophony of the generators the man has named as kids. One even threatened once to strangulate the lousiest of the Gens (I’m guessing Alaba). #LoveThyNeighbour

Alaba is his beloveth that I once complained about of having the dubious character of feigning death but never gets to die. It oscillates in dissonance all through the night giving the neighbors hell. On Alaba’s shifts, no one sleeps. It’s a compulsory vigil. #LoveThyNeighbour

Alaba was so notorious that the entire street named it Kòkúmó (which means it never dies again) or Gbékúdè (DeathStalker). Then came this new neighbor, a serving Naval officer, whose window is now close to ALABA’s spot. #LoveThyNeighbour

Here I was still mourning & catching up on tweets after a long day of torrential interviews. Then I heard for the first time on a weekday the accent of Alaba storming to a start. Then all of the sudden I heard it choke and gave up the ghost. I knew something was up. 🤔

Then I heard “Brami Brami! (my brother, my brother!) Wón mà tï pà Àlàbá a! (They have killed Àlàbá). At first I thought it was a human being then I remember this is a pseudonym for their favorite undying old discordant generator. I knew there will be trouble so I paid attention.

The man stormed out as though one of his children just got hit by a truck and bellowed “Ìyaláya tä ló pà Àlàbá?!” (Whose progenitor killed Alaba?!) 🤔 There was deafening silence. At this point I needed to climb something in order not to miss any frame. #LoveThyNeighbour

Note to Self : Snooping, Snitching & Tweeting can not be incorporated into a simultaneous equation. I almost fell off my ladder. Just a second. Can’t afford a hunchback right now. I’ll be right back. ⚠️

It turned out that the Naval Officer yanked off ALABA’s choke while in motion. Suffice to say it was a tragic death that must have knocked the cylinder. I heard the brother say “Wón tï já Choke ę” (they have ripped out the choke). From all indication oil was all over the place.

Murder indeed was the case but who will confront the Naval officer? The rest of the frustrated Neighbours in their compound were all full of excitement taking vantage position to see how this ends. Many of them offered rechargeable lights to avoid excuses that may stall the bout.

At this point Papa Alaba the King Of Gens tamed his anger walking cautiously to the door of the naval officer in a separate structure attached to my fence. I’ve never seen such a thoughtful knock in my life. It was calculated and took minutes to initiate as though it was a deity.

At this point my wife started calling “Honey I need your help” I told myself I’d rather risk a divorce than miss a frame in this historic encounter that hallmarks a long lasting peace. This is my Live-Netflix moment and it comes once in 40 years. May we not miss our moment.

Yeah I ignored my wife. First time in eleven years.

Before papa Alaba could end his last knock on the door the door swung open and we all gasped in concert. This is it!

Nobody born of a woman knew Papa Alaba has a reserved Falsetto voice for such a time as this. From the fence I almost felt this part of the flick was a voice over from one of the Paloma series. He whimpered...”but Oga you suppose tell me if I offend you na”

I wasn’t the only one disappointed in the accidental piety Of Papa Alaba, who we thought would have opened the floor with a blinding slap on the face of the assailant of his beloved Alaba. But God works in miraculous ways...

He was about to finish his sentence when the Naval officer shoved him aside like he was a make shift curtain of a beer parlor. He took off his shirt and from the sight of what we all agreed was his chest, papa Alaba had no chance in Hell to compete or complain further.

We all held our breath as the ‘chested’ Naval Officer waltz back into his apartment and slammed the door. Papa Alaba cautiously remained where he was shoved to avoid any sudden movement that may be interpreted as defiance. Long story short, we have peace now. Rest in Peace Alaba.

...End...

#RIP