Three years of jingoistic nonsense sold by a cabal of millionaires, lapped up by a press determined to whip up xenophobic hate, all in the name of a freewheeling, world leading, global Britain, for us to be dismissed from the room while the adults talk.
Remember when we used to be a respected, pragmatic, alliance-building, influential presence on the world stage? Good times.
Now here we are. Laughed at, pitied, shrieking at ourselves in public while the world busily moves on past us, and sat at the fucking kids table.
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“No spoilers for what’s coming in 2021 but let’s just say that the ability to live through food shortages while remembering to doff your cap and thank the toffs for the privilege will be a definite plus.”
Fundamental and very basic question: what happens when some other country breaks international law in a "specific and limited way" when dealing with us? What then? Is our breaking international law okay, but their breaking international law is wrong?
Second fundamental question: would it not be quicker and cheaper to just paint "We're fucking untrustworthy shithouses and you'd have to be absolutely fucking crackers to invest or spend any of your money here" in letters 50 feet high on the white cliffs of Dover?
Only kidding, the answer will obviously be “it’s okay, we’re white”
LAST SHITE OF THE PROMS: What, you thought we were done with this? You fools! There’s more! There’s so much more! There’s always more! More! MOOOOOOORE!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa
Fuckwit bonus points to Andy there, who’s angry that the entire BBC isn’t slavishly reproducing his views and his views alone because he’s paying his £3 a week as part of the license fee.
Though Michael from Rickmansworth’s mental gymnastics to get from “playing an orchestral version of a bit of music because it isn’t safe to get lots of people together to sing” to “organised book burnings” did give him a hard run for his money.
Here’s why this harmless thing that might give you a moment’s joy in this poisonous burning infectious hellscape of a planet is actually very problematic thank you very much, part 23,938,838
I’m looking at you, person who watched Iron Man on Disney+ a week ago while eating an entire pipe of salt and vinegar pringles, you feckless BASTARD
There’s literally a global pandemic with hundreds of thousands of people dead. There’s actual Nazis on the march across the globe. The planet is burning up. Please don’t make me watching Danny DeVito have remote controlled weaponised penguins A Thing We Need To Discuss I beg you.
Somewhere in Beijing, flustered aides are crowding around a clearly shaken President Xi Jinping as they consider the enormity of the situation. They have angered Nigel from Cornwall. Truly, they have awoken the sleeping giant.
Meanwhile, in Moscow, aides clustered outside the office of Vladimir Putin are just saying in hushed tones "Well, I'm not telling him."