Thread by @MatthewWolfff

🏳️‍🌈#LGBTVoices Celebrates🏳️‍🌈
FIFTY YEARS OF PRIDE

Today: Coming Out

Whether gay, lesbian, bi, trans, asexual, or any shade of the rainbow, more people are coming out than ever.

Coming out means standing up for your rights & increasing the visibility of LGBT+ people.
#Pride
1)

At a time when LGBT+ rights, some very recently gained, are under threat, visibility in our community is crucial.

The more people that come out, the better chance people have of knowing LGBT+ people. Knowing people makes it harder to hate them.
2)

In the US and UK, studies just a few years ago showed that homophobia and bullying was on sharp decline in High Schools.

Increased visibility of gay people in media meant more kids feeling comfortable with coming out, and more kids having gay friends.
3)

amp.theguardian.com/world/2012/mar…

Yet a highly vocal minority of hateful people are fueling an increase in hate crimes, especially amongst trans people.

In the US, the GOP Gov is outwardly hostile to LGBT+ rights, challenging protections in court, ending their military careers.
4)

hrc.org/blog/new-fbi-s…

Most importantly, coming out is not just about living your personal truth. It means standing to be counted with members of our community who are being bashed.

It humanizes the LGBT+ community for your family and friends, forcing them to confront their biases.
5)

If you’re LGBT+, coming out is essential to your well being and health. The closet is poison. It feeds self hate, and warps our views of other people.

If you’re living in the closet, you know the toll the fear has on you. Coming out frees you, it saves your life.
6)

I wrote this thread about my struggles as a closeted young man last year.

If you’re a parent, please pay attention to the roll the religion and politics I was raised in played.

Homophobia is often not communicated explicitly, but implicitly.
7)

https://twitter.com/matthewwolfff/status/1003226937127555072?s=21

My greatest regret in life is not coming out earlier, and that’s true of many LGBT+ people.

What may seem to you in the closet as the end of the world is actually a huge weight off your shoulders, a freedom you can’t imagine from within the closet.
8)

Still, the right time and place to come out is a personal decision that only you can make for yourself. There are, sadly, places in this world that it just isn’t safe to come out, including in the US.

It’s important to consider the circumstances you live in before coming out.
9)

If you’re a young person living with homophobic parents, the danger of being disowned is a real one. The percentage of homelessness in teenagers is highest among LGBT+ teens.

Here are some strategies for coming out to homophobic parents.
10)

us.ditchthelabel.org/coming-out-hom…

For many young people, the natural point to come out is when leaving home.

It means a reboot of your life, a chance to find an accepting area to live, a school to nurture your growth, a chance to build relationships with people who accept you for who you are.
11)

If you’re planning to go to college, that is the perfect time to come out. Where High School can be oppressive to you young LGBT+ people, college is a new start surrounded by more open minded people looking to make more diverse friends.
12)

bestcolleges.com/features/top-l…

Coming out doesn’t mean that everyone will accept you, but it is a good way to sort out those who truly care about you from those who don’t.

If a family member or friend can’t accept you as an LGBT+ person, as much as that hurts, their relationship just isn’t worth anything.
13)

If you’re in the closet, but you consider yourself LGBT+, congratulation! You’ve already taken the first step! You’ve accepted for yourself who you are.

After determining that the time is right to come out, the next step is choosing your first person to come out to.
14)

For many people, coming out to a close friend is an easier first than family. An LGBT+ person in your life that you trust may be your best choice. They’ve been where you are.

Practicing with people you trust will make it easier to come out to those you’re unsure of.
15)

The hardest thing you’ll ever say is not “I’m gay,” it’s “there’s something I have to tell you.”

Then you’ll freeze. It’s ok. The person you’re talking to will see you’re in agony. Ask them for their patience. Then, force yourself to spit it out. You’ll feel better.
16)

Prepare before you start the conversation. Think about what it is you want to say. Think about different scenarios on how they might react, and how you should respond.

People react differently. Some will ask you questions, some will be casual and accepting. Both are natural.
17)

Remember that however long it’s taken to accept yourself, the person you’re coming out to is just starting to deal with your revelation. Be patient.

Expect questions, and be prepared with answers, even to annoying ones. It’s not a choice, or a phase. You know who you are.
18)

If you’re a straight person reading this thread, then you probably consider yourself an ally. You have to come out too!

Be open with your friends and family about your allyship. Tell them that you’re available to talk about things they’re going through. Be a listener.
19)

If you’re a parent or friend to a person you suspect is LGBT+, it’s natural to consider telling them what you suspect to spare them the pain of coming out.

That may be a relief to some, but for many, it may trigger a response of panic and denial if they’re not ready.
20)

Here are some great sources on coming out to read through:

hrc.org/resources/reso…

thetrevorproject.org/about/programs…

glsen.org/article/coming…

matthewshepard.org/coming-out-res…

pflag.org/tags/comingout

21)

If you’re a student, consider joining or starting a gay-straight alliance at your school:
lambdalegal.org/know-your-righ…

If your the parent or friend of an LGBT+ person, consider joining your local chapter of PFLAG (Parents and friends of lesbians and gays)
pflag.org
22)

For me, as a closeted gay teen, the idea of coming out was like the end of the world to me. My way out was suicide.

Please talk to someone if your considering hurting yourself. You have too much love to give, and too much joy to experience. ❤️
23)
thetrevorproject.org/#sm.00001tkmb9…

I wish I could tell the young, closeted me how happy being gay has made me. It’s become my joy, the light of my life.

Coming out wasn’t an end, but a beginning. A huge weight lifted off my shoulders, a relief.

It’s never too late to come out, and it always gets better. ❤️
24)

Join #LGBTVoices in celebrating 50 years of #Pride! New tweets on LGBT+ topics every day in June.

How far has the LGBT+ community come? What work do we still have to do?

RT and join in on the discussion.
Tell us your stories!

🌈❤️Happy Pride!🌈❤️
END)
twitter.com/i/moments/1133…

The pic I used for this tweet in todays thread is of the Rhodes twins, @AaronRhodes and @AustinRhodes coming out to their father.

It gives you an idea how hard and emotional coming out can be, if you’ve never experienced it.

https://twitter.com/matthewwolfff/status/1134791573361844224?s=21