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Accidental sex worker Shiro au?
#Sheith | #nsfw ? Maybe?

Shiro’s a fic writer with a Pat/reon. He & Matt are day-drinking. Matt makes a joke about Shiro mass sexting people when he writes smut. Tipsy Shiro thinks this is a FANTASTIC idea and jokingly offers more *personal* smut.
This fic thread was brought to you by wonderful kofi donations HOLY SHIT. 🖤
It was Friday.

Shiro and Matt had taken off from their respective white-collar jobs. Why?

Oh, to binge watch the entire last season of their favorite on-demand streamed TV show, of course.
They had bought all the necessary junk food. Had been sipping on craft beers and ciders.

Except the season ended up being...disappointing was putting it lightly.

As each episode played, they got steadily drunker. By the 4th episode they had to pull out the hard liquor.
By the 6th episode they weren’t even paying attention to the plot anymore. Wait. Had there really been a plot this season? The jury was still out on that.

Near the end of the 7th episode Matt loudly proclaimed that Shiro’s smut was better than this “load of shit.”
Shiro sputtered around his lemon sour, more alcohol than actual soda, “How do you know?”

“Dude, I support you on Pat/reon.”

Shiro blinked. “WHat?!”

“Of course, you are my best friend. Gotta support my best friend!”

Ok, Shiro would give him that.
“Ok, valid. But you read the shit I post?”

“Yeah.” At Shiro’s knowing glare Matt continued. “Ok, ok okokokok. I saw one of the tags and I got curious ok! Besides it’s all fanfic for this show!” And Matt shook his glass in the general direction of the TV.
“That made me EXTRA curious, man. I didn’t realize every time you said you were writing, you were writing fanfics!” Mat pushed himself off the couch arm that he had been leaning against, deciding that being next to Shiro was important right this second.
“Dude,” Matt whispered, a bit too loudly, “your shit is really good.”

Shiro couldn’t stop the laugh that burst from his mouth. “I hadn’t been expecting that.”

“Naw, it really is!!” And Matt leaned backward, tucking one of his legs under him.
“It’s strange though.” Mat continued rambling, “Reading all that and knowing that you, my best friend in the entire world, wrote about two guys fucking in an elevator.”

“Hey! That was a modern au. It made sense!”

“Sure! Then what about all that omegaverse business?”
“I—“ Shiro snapped his mouth shut. “I’ve got nothing.”

Matt’s screeching laughter rang in Shiro’s ears.
Once Matt had settled down, enough to actually breathe properly and not make gasping sounds and wave his hands around like a stupid ass, he tapped Shiro’s nose. “You know what?”

“What?” And Shiro took a deep drink from his glass.
“Have you considered the fact that you are basically mass sexting people when you write smut?”

Sober Shiro might have nervously laughed, and deflected the question.

Tipsy Shiro was a slightly different beast. Tipsy, and frankly almost drunk, Shiro got a FANTASTIC idea.
“Hey,” Matt nodded as he drained the last remaining bit of whatever the fuck had been in his cup, “you just got an idea. Share with the class.”

Shiro pulled out his phone instead.

“Heeeey, Shiroooo, what are you dooooing,” Matt whined as Shiro furiously typed away.
Now, one thing about Takashi Shirogane that Matt had learned pretty early on in their friendship was that Shiro was a go-getter. Modest? Yeah, but had always been one for going after his dreams.

Case in point: Shiro had told Matt that if his writing were to
ever take off that he would be quit his white-collar job and just write full time. But if, and only if, he were able to make a certain amount of money per month to justify leaving his desk job.

Shiro hadn’t thought that he would ever reach that amount.
And so, as Matt watched Shiro open a few internet tabs on his cell phone, closed a few tabs, opened a few more, screenshot some things, and then finally, /finally/ opened twitter, Matt had been cackling beside Shiro.
Because the other thing that Matt had learned about Takashi Shirogane had been that Tipsy Shiro was a lot less likely to shoot down a stupid idea. That while Sober Shiro would probably have to think about something for at least a few seconds,
Tipsy Shiro would be the first one to scream FUCK IT, and then did the thing.

And so that had been how Shiro ended up with a series of tweets that read as follows:
//For as little as $30 a month I will sext you via dis/cord. Just sign up for the $30, or any higher, tier and you can choose that option instead of the fic common listed

Am I joking? Only one way to find out.//

And then he had linked his Pat/reon.
//This might be a joke post? But idk maybe the offer itself isn’t? If someone actually does this then I will scream. Like, good scream, not bad scream.//
As Matt rummaged around for his own cell phone, Shiro threw his on to the coffee table. “You sometimes come up with good ideas, Matt.”

Matt ended bent over backwards on the sofa arm, his arm stretched as far as he could so that he could poke at his cell that he had thrown
at a really stupid episode in the series finale that they had no longer been watching.

Once Matt had finally reached his cell —some 5 minutes later after Shiro kicked Matt’s feet out from underneath him and it caused Matt to land on his head— Matt mumbled out an “Oh, shit.”
And then laughed. “Oh fuck, I’m retweeting this.”

Shiro shrugged. There had been no harm in Matt retweeting it. It had been a joke anyway. Not like anyone would actually retweet it.

Matt only had 3 followers anyway. Not like any of Shiro’s irl friends or family would see it.
Oh, how wrong Shiro had been.

So very, very wrong.

And he woke up to his level of Very Wrong later on that day.
The TV series that Shiro and Matt had been watching ended with one of the most horrifically cringeworthy ways possible, and while normally after a binge watch of the new season Shiro would be all ready to write, he was not. He so was not.

For so many different reasons.
Shiro’s plan had been for them to start watching the finale as soon as it dropped (3am), watch it in it’s entirety, and then pass out for a few hours so they could head to the movie theater for a matinee showing of a comic book movie that had just dropped the night before.
And so it had been around 11am when he had finally dragged himself to bed.

Their movie tickets had been for the 3:10pm showing.

Not their brightest idea to date, but certainly not their stupidest.
The alarm on Shiro’s phone sounded like a bomb going off, and with a groan he dragged it toward him.

Luckily he had just started to sober up by the time he had crawled in bed, so he had just enough foresight to plug his phone in to charge.
He did not, however, have the foresight to actually check any of his social media notifications.

So Shiro felt like he had been smacked in the face when he scrolled though his twitter.
The sexting tweet that he had made? Yeah, it actually blew up.

1,532 retweets. And rising.

4,319 likes. And rising.

And his follower count had increased by about 400, give or take. Shiro hadn’t actually been too sure about that one. He tried to not look at follower counts.
So, well, “blew up” wasn’t really accurate, but for the fandom community those stats were pretty damn impressive. Especially for someone who was basically a nobody.

And, well.

Shiro’s emails were littered.

Shiro needed coffee.
One quickly consumed cup of coffee and a quick bite to eat, Shiro and Matt made their way to the local theater.

“Hey, uh, dude,” Matt started as they rounded the last block to the movies.

Shiro had been scrolling through his fandom email account,
trying to parce out just where the FUCK all these new patrons had been coming from.

“Yeah?” Shiro hadn’t looked up from his phone.

“Dude, you’re trending on Reddit.”

Shiro’s head shot up. “You go on Reddit?”

“No?” And Matt made a face. “Well, I mean only when I need to.”
“Then, how did you—?”

“Look, Pidge & I made a basic algorithm to compile all mentions of your known handles,” Matt said as he tipped his phone in Shiro’s direction so that he could see the screen. It looked like Matt had been remoting into his desktop computer via his phone.

“And well. We just got a ping of high traffic from Reddit.”

“They are mentioning me on Reddit?” And Shiro grabbed at Matt’s phone.

“God dude, I literally just said that,” Matt quietly mumbled as Pidge popped up.

“Well, not exactly,” came Pidge’s voice from behind Shiro.
“Look,” Matt interjected, “we don’t have time to explain it all before the movie, but you might want to mute all notifs for all your social media.”

“What? For how long?”

Matt looked between Shiro and Pidge, and then scrubbed at the back of his neck.
Pidge broke the silence first, “For at least today.”


“Eh, maybe for the next week,” she amended as she pushed Shiro toward their small group of friends waiting for them.

Pidge had been right.

Though the ’next week’ had been a severe underestimation.

It had been a week and Shiro had still been buried under a pile of emails and Twitter notifications.
Matt and Pidge had figured out that someone had made the connection between Shiro’s fic writing accounts and his instagram, and and pulled all of his selfies (which there were 6) and posted them on Reddit with a link to Shiro’s “joke” tweet.
And it had been just a matter of time before Shiro’s Pat/reon numbers skyrocketed and all of his higher tiers that offered commissions as a perk, namely all the $30 and higher, had been taken after Shiro had walked out of the movies that fateful Friday afternoon.
So far no one had come forward asking to substitute the fic commission for sexting.

And in fact no one had come forward asking for the commissions either. Shiro made sure that all the applicable tiers knew that had that perk waiting for them, to just message him, but no one had.
But. It had only been a week.

“Pizza?” Matt asked from his relaxed spot on Shiro’s couch.

“Dude, what are you even doing here?” Shiro grumbled as he threw his keys into the bowl beside his front door.

“It’s Friday. Movie night.”

“Go home. I don’t have energy for you.”
Matt smirked, “Your rabid fans wearing you out?”

“Yes? Kinda? I don’t know? Possibly?”

“How much are you writing per day now,” Matt’s brows pulled together in concern.
Shiro waved him away. “Ah, naw, that’s not it. None of the commission tiers have actually claimed them. I’m just up to my ears in notifications and emails.”

“And you do have big ears.”

“Go the fuck home, Matt.”
Matt just laughed as he pulled himself up, “I could set up an email filing system for you. It should hopefully lighten the load.”

“Please.” Shiro looked exhausted. “But, tomorrow. I need to not people right now.”

“Sure thing, buddy.”

A quick change, food delivery called, and a bottle of moscato chilling in his fridge, Shiro slumped on his couch.

His phone dinged.

Instinctively, he reached for it.
An email from Patreon flashed on his lock screen.

He really shouldn’t.

He really shouldn’t.

He /told/ himself that he wouldn’t.

He slid open his phone.

Message from user K. K. read as follows:

//Hi, I’m one of the $100 tiers and was wondering how to go about that fic commission.

-K. //

Shiro had blinked at his phone screen.

He had a whole two slots for the $100 tier. It was his highest tier. And both had been taken.
As Shiro poked around in the settings for his creator account, he navigated to the Patrons section and then the Relationship Manager spreadsheet. After a few quick keystrokes and Shiro had K.K.’s user stats on his screen.

Shiro nearly dropped his phone.
There, neatly beside K.’s name sat the monetary amount of the user’s pledge. There definitely had been two zeros sitting behind the first digit, but the amount hadn’t been $100.

Shiro quickly responded to the message.
//Hi, K!

Thank you so much for your support! I’m excited to hear that you are interested in the fic commission that is associated with your tier level.//
Shiro went on and basically copy and pasted his normal commission disclaimer, and then finished up with a few questions in reference to the content of the fic that he requested K. to answer to the best of their ability.
//Also, just curious, and you don’t have to answer this, but should I still call you K.? Or do you have a different name that you want to go by? Pronouns? Again, no pressure, just curious!

And, uh, again, thank you for supporting my work. Truly.
The amount that you are pledging per month is... well, it means a lot that you value my work that much.


Hope to hear back from you soon.//

The knock on Shiro’s door told him that his food had arrived.
Once he got back to his phone, a message from Pat/reon had been waiting for him.
//Oh, Keith is fine, or K. I don’t care. You’re using your name, so I might as well. And I don’t have a prompt in mind, but if you could include as much as you want from this list then that would be cool. Whatever you think works best.

He/him btw.//
Then there had been... ahem.

A very, /very/ long and in-depth list of kinks.
As Shiro made his way down the list he realized that it had been a mix of kinks that he had written at one point or another. Well, at least he had been familiar with all of them, to some extent.
He low-key had a fear that something on the list was gonna be something that he wasn’t into. But he seemed to have dodged the bullet on so many things.

Like the fact that this Keith sounded pretty chill and plain nice.




Keith K.?

Shiro scrunched up his face as he considered for just a second that maybe?

No, stop that Shirogane.
What had been the likeliness that this had been the same Keith that was friends with Pidge’s friend, Hunk.

Shiro shook his head.

Keith was a common name, stop being weird, Shirogane.
Instead Shiro shoved a few pieces of kimbap into his mouth and then tapped away on his phone as he chewed.

//That’s totally doable, Keith! I’m at least vaguely familiar with everything here, so making a fic out of it shouldn’t be hard.//
And then Shiro’s thumbs hovered over the keyboard as he decided how he should word the next part.

//Oh and btw, if you wanted, we could add each other on dis/cord so that it’s a bit easier for me to run things by you.//

And he closed the message with his dis/cord handle.
He had debated on mentioning the sexting tweet, but people had stopped bringing it up around Monday, so he didn’t felt the need to rehash it. If it came up, it came up. Otherwise he wasn’t gonna push the subject.
Besides, Shiro had gotten the feeling that Keith wasn’t gonna ask about it.

And Shiro was pretty good at reading people.
In any event, Shiro didn’t have to wait long for a reply.

//Cool, that works for me. I’ll add you in a bit.

Thanks for the speedy responses btw.//
A few minutes, and about a 1/4 of the bottle of moscato, later Shiro got a push notification from dis/cord.

Well, at least Keith had been true to his word.


The next few days flew by for Shiro. Monday morning snuck up on him and he had Not Been Happy about it.
Walking into work had been a chore.
Doing mundane desk work had been a chore.
Nosey coworkers were a huge chore.

He would rather not disclose the fact that he had been writing hardcore porn over the weekend, thanks Janet.

His only solace came in the form of his lunch break.
Thanks. You too.

btw those snippets that you sent over looked fantastic. You always seem to know what to do.//

The message from Keith sat in dis/cord and Shiro blinked at it.
He and Keith had been chatting nearly nonstop all weekend. It had started slow at first, with Shiro just sending over a few possible outlines for Keith to weigh-in on. But now.

Now it seemed like they had known each other for years.
Like he had been talking to an old friend.

The conversation didn’t feel stilted or awkward. Which was probably an online first for Shiro.

It felt.

Which is why Shiro didn’t think anything of it when he had tacked on a “hope you have a good day at work,” to the screenshot of a few paragraphs that he drafted out while drinking his morning coffee.
But now, holding his phone in his hands while waiting for the microwave in the break room to finish heating up his food, it dawned on him what he did.

Had that been a bit too… personal of a thing to do? Did Keith mind? Had Shiro over stepped?

Probably not considering Keith’s response.

But still better be safe.

The last thing that Shiro wanted was for Keith to be uncomfortable. But also, on a more selfish level, he didn’t want to upset a patron who had pledged such a large amount.

Fine balancing act.
//Glad you liked them! I have a really good idea where I’m going with this now and it should be done either this weekend or next Monday. If I have any questions, or want to run anything by you, I’ll shoot you a text.//
//Oh, and I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable with wishing you a good day at work. Sorry, I was kind of on auto this morning.//
Shiro placed his phone face down on the table that he had commandeered in the corner of the break room, and then walked over to the beeping microwave.
He came back to a dis/cord notification.

K: //I didn’t mind. I thought you were just being nice lol//

S: //Phew! I didn’t want to overstep.//

The little “Keith’s typing” popped up right away.
K: //That’s considerate, I appreciate it.//
K: //Though I should’ve expected such clear understanding of boundaries from someone who does sex work.//
K: //but really don’t worry about it//

Shiro dropped his phone.
The clattering sound echoed in the nearly empty break room. Steve from Accounting looked over at him.

“Sorry,” Shiro muttered as he leaned over to retrieve the phone from the floor.
S: You’re welcome!
S: though
S: omg
S: I don’t
S: I don’t actually do sex work.
S: I mean, one of my best friends makes fun of me by saying I mass sext people when I write smut.
S: But
S: I’m not a sex worker.
Finally that damn tweet had come to bite him on the ass.

S: SOrry?

Of course.
Of fucking course.
K: Oh.
K: Oh shit.
K: I am so fucking sorry. I just assumed based on that promo tweet from the other week.
K: I shouldn’t have assumed though.
K: I apologize for offending you
S: Oh, god no. You didn’t.
S: Offend.
S: Not at all.
S: There is absolutely no shame in doing sex work.
S: It’s a valid occupation.

K: I completely agree.

S: I just don’t do it.
K: Cool. Good talk.
K: Well, ah, I should probably stop bothering you at work then.

Shiro’s fingers responded faster than his brain.

S: No! It’s fine. I really don’t mind. I like talking to you.

The second he hit send Shiro realized his mistake.


As it happened that whole awkward conversation might have been the exact thing that they needed.

Keith’s response had first been a few ellipsis followed by a “Really?” to which Shiro had shyly replied with a “yeah.”
Keith’s blushing emoji coupled with a “cool, I like talking to you too” made Shiro’s entire face light up as he tried not to choke on his wine.

That night they had talked about a random assortment of things until 2am, to which Shiro had to
give the bad news that he really, /really/ needed go to bed.

K: Talk to you tomorrow?

Shiro blushed as he typed out a “wouldn’t miss it.”

As Shiro closed his laptop a thought struck him.

“Don’t you dare, Shirogane,” Shiro mumbled to himself as he
tidied up his living room for the night. “Don’t you dare get a crush on a random stranger.”

A voice in the back of his head whispered, “But you’re a Pisces, you can’t help it.”

“NOPE. Stop that.” And Shiro shuffled off to bed.

K: They don’t seem *that* bad.

S: They *are* that bad.

K: But it’s not like they can *make* you tell them what you do in your free time?

S: You don’t know Janet and Becky, Keith.
S: It’s like they can read your *soul*.
S: They just *know* without having to know.
It had only taken Shiro and Keith an additional 2 weeks before their daily conversation drifted to Shiro complaining about work.

Keith had asked.

Shiro had double and then triple checked to make sure that he wanted to know.
Keith had sent over a shrugging gif with a simple “I need a good laugh?”

After about 10 minutes of this back and forth Keith had cut in.
K: Shiro. Shiroshiroshiro.

S: Keith.

K: Shiro.

S: Ke?ith?

K: I am laughing my fucking ass off.

The squawk of laugher that came out of Shiro’s mouth startled his cat. “Sorry, Girl,” Shiro sputtered out.
S: I will have you know that reading *that* made *me* loose my shit. I laughed so hard I scared Girl.

K: ?
K: your girlfriend?

Shiro snorted.

S: Oh fuck no. I’m gay as hell.
S: My cat.
S: Girl.

K: ...
K: You named your cat girl?

S: Yes?

K: Shiro.


The doorbell ding dragged Shiro’s attention away from his screaming.

S: brb food is here

A tip to the delivery driver and a quick swing by the kitchen later, and Shiro plopped himself back down on the floor with his back pressed against his couch.
He typed one handed as he popped open the food container. He had placed it right beside his laptop on the coffee table.

S: b
S: where was i
S: oh
S: yes

K: dork omg
K: Hey you eat.
K: We can talk later.
Shiro’s hands hovered over the keyboard.

Should he?

Would it be too weird?


Maybe it could be fun?

“Damnit, just do it,” Shiro mumbled around a mouthful of food.
S: Or we could talk now?

K: Shiro.

S: Keith.

K: I hate to break it to you.

S: Yes

K: But

S: Yes

K: We’re talking right now

Shiro nearly choked on his food trying to hold back his laughter.
S: That’s what we’ve been doing?

K: or flirting

Shiro actually choked on his food then.
And flailed his arms a little too hard and almost knocked his glass.

This hadn’t been the direction Shiro had expected this to go.

K: you there?
K: I hope I didn’t overstep?

Needless to say it had taken Shiro a little too long to get back to the conversation.

K: I’m sorry.
After he confirmed that no liquid landed on his laptop, Shiro looked at the screen.


S: Ah!
S: I’m here! I’m here!
S: Sorry, I nearly spilled water on my laptop. But I’m here.
S: And hey?
S: Keith?

K: Yeah?
S: Could you, uh.
S: Jump over to voice chat real fast?
S: I uh
S: I kinda want to say this next part in person?

K: Yeah. Sure.

S: And Keith?
S: It’s nothing bad.
S: I promise.

K: Ok.
Shiro quickly rummaged in his messenger bag beside himself, looking for his headphones. Once he turned them on and make sure the Bluetooth had connected to his laptop, he pressed the audio call in dis/cord.
Him and Keith had chatted a few times over audio, mainly while Shiro had been walking to work since Shiro didn’t love the idea of texting while walking half asleep in the mornings.
Those few times had always kicked the wind out of Shiro. Kieth’s voice was gorgeous, and always seemed to perk him up better than any cup of coffee. And somehow, Keith’s voice had been comforting. At that time Shiro couldn’t place why.


Now had been pretty sure why.
And frankly?

He needed that comfort right now.

He felt like they were at a tipping point of some sort. And he just needed to know.

“Hey,” Shiro greeted the second the call connected.

“Hey, I’m—“

“I think I have a crush on you.”
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