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Sami Schalk Profile picture
@DrSamiSchalk
Aug 15, 2019 • 4 tweets • 1 min read • Read on X
My approach to talking with friends about their relationships is basically asking versions of the same question over & over: What do you need? What will make you happy? Is this making you happy? This is worth the time & energy you’re spending on it? Is this what you want?
In the end I just affirm to people: I love you and I want you to be happy. Is this relationship helping you be your highest & best self right now! Not 2 or 5 or 10 years ago but now, is this relationship good for you right now? If not, what needs to change?
I don’t like shit-talking folks’ partners or telling ppl what to do. I like seeing ppl make the best choices for themselves in any given stage of life with whatever supports they need. Sometimes you gotta just help someone hold up a mirror to themselves while they figure it out.
Honestly, maybe in my next phase of life I need to get licensed to be a relationship therapist or life coach focusing on queer women, women of color & polyamorous people as clients because I already do it so much for free in my communities. 😂

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More from @DrSamiSchalk

Sami Schalk Profile picture
Dec 12, 2023
When I was in high school I intentionally did not apply for scholarships intended to support students of color or students from low income backgrounds. I was determined to show I could do it on merit alone.
So it’s ironic now that no matter how many degrees or awards or books, certain folks will say I’m “just” a “DEI hire” & don’t deserve my job when they don’t know anything about how or why I was hired. All they see is a fat Black queer woman & they immediately think “unqualified”
If I had known this is the way it would be for my entire academic career, from when I started college to now about to be a full professor, I would’ve taken more scholarships, more support, more resources every chance I had. There’s no winning with ppl who don’t want me to exist.
Read 7 tweets
Sami Schalk Profile picture
Dec 11, 2023
I think it’s telling that a bunch of conservatives are responding to a video of me twerking on stage with Janelle Monáe & asking why this behavior is allowed by a professor on a college campus/class. There’s a reason I teach critical thinking skills & reading in context.
In case it’s not clear, Twitter is not my classroom or campus. A Janelle Monáe concert is not (sadly) my classroom or campus. I literally post all my teaching outfits. My syllabi are publicly available. If they truly wanted to know what my classes are like, they could find out.
But of course that’s not the point is it? The point is to say “See this fat Black queer disabled person who is, in her personal life, behaving in a way you don’t associate with old white dude college professors? Must be a DEI hire & a sign of the decline of the university right?”
Read 7 tweets
Sami Schalk Profile picture
Dec 2, 2022
New #ResearchStudy recruitment #thread: Attention pleasure activists & organizers! I’m beginning a new research project to study the practice of #PleasureActivism by interviewing organizers of pleasure spaces for multiply marginalized people.
For the purposes of this study, pleasure spaces are defined as social spaces intended for pleasure, joy, creativity, healing or other positive emotions. These could include but are not limited to dance parties, art shows, hobby or sports clubs, social groups, & kink/sex parties.
Multiply marginalized people are defined as those who have at least 2 marginalized identities in regard to race, class, gender, sexuality, or disability. Please note I am including kinky and/or polyamorous people as sexually marginalized people in this project.
Read 4 tweets
Sami Schalk Profile picture
Dec 1, 2022
Meant to post this yesterday but in its first month on the market, #BlackDisabilityPolitics sold 1,820 copies while being #OpenAccess! For an academic book this is a huge success. Thank you all for your support & for showing that open access doesn’t mean no/low sales! Photo of multiple stacks of...
You can download and read the #OpenAccess version here:

read.dukeupress.edu/books/book/309…
If you’d like to buy a copy, you can purchase directly from @DukePress using code E22SCHLK for get 30% off the paperback. Or purchase from your favorite independent bookseller.

dukeupress.edu/black-disabili…
Read 4 tweets
Sami Schalk Profile picture
Nov 30, 2022
Remember when I said COVID would be a mass disabling event with the majority of Americans disabled and people were like “Stop using scare tactics! Stop exaggerating!” But here we are. I want us to prepare for disabled futures not fear them.
And when I say mass disabling event, I don’t just mean long COVID. I also mean all the people with psych disabilities, esp PTSD, from the trauma of the pandemic (like front line workers) & everyone who have had medical care denied or delayed in an over-taxes hospital system.
Here’s my tweets from January
Read 10 tweets
Sami Schalk Profile picture
Nov 27, 2022
Ummm so this year there are Reese’s trees and ornaments and bells and nutcrackers and mystery shapes and big snowmen and even bigger Santas. My “Reese’s shapes are better than the cups” people, get into it. We can compare notes.
Ok, first, nutcracker. They’re tiny. Way higher chocolate to peanut bette ratio, firm chocolate texture like the edges of a traditional cup but all over. Not for me.
The ornament was more like an Easter egg, but not flat, fully rounded. Another high chocolate to PB ratio, hard chocolate, thicker than even the edge of a cup normally. Not for me either.
Read 5 tweets

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