18yr old Emily Drouet committed suicide in 2016.
Her abusive ex, described as the ‘alpha male on the campus’
flew into a rage when he found out Emily was unfaithful.
This is only half the story.
This is about humiliated rage, entitlement and #coercivecontrol
THREAD
Her abusive ex, described as the ‘alpha male on the campus’
flew into a rage when he found out Emily was unfaithful.
This is only half the story.
This is about humiliated rage, entitlement and #coercivecontrol
THREAD
The couple started dating in 2015 during the first semester.
According to newspaper reports, the relationship only soured after Milligan was told his girlfriend had been unfaithful.
This is only half the story.
According to newspaper reports, the relationship only soured after Milligan was told his girlfriend had been unfaithful.
This is only half the story.
Emily met Angus during Freshers week and by the end of first term, had started sleeping together. According to evidence given to prosecutors by Emily’s friends, it was mostly a physical relationship and they spent most of their time together in each others’ rooms.
Friends of Emily’s said of the pair, “He had his friends and she had hers so they only ever spent time together alone,”
“ It was intense when they were together, but they were never really “coupley” in front of people.”
“ It was intense when they were together, but they were never really “coupley” in front of people.”
Things between Angus and Emily weren’t official, but she had begun to fall for him.
Emily found out Angus had been sleeping with other girls over the Christmas break , devastated she called things off.
By Feb, they were back- not really together, but still seeing each other.
Emily found out Angus had been sleeping with other girls over the Christmas break , devastated she called things off.
By Feb, they were back- not really together, but still seeing each other.
Friends were unsure of the official status of their relationship.
At Emily’s 18th birthday on 28th January 2016, Angus was alleged to have poured a pint over her after a row.
He had allegedly been pressuring Emily into a threesome with him and one of his rugby friends.
He had allegedly been pressuring Emily into a threesome with him and one of his rugby friends.
On one occasion Angus said he would never sleep with Emily again unless she agreed to the threesome.
Emily confided in friends, telling them she didn’t want to do it and that she found it creepy.
Emily confided in friends, telling them she didn’t want to do it and that she found it creepy.
A month later, Emily did have a threesome, but without Angus. It happened after a night out with one of Angus’ close female family members, and one of Angus’ rugby friends – the same one Angus had initially suggested the threesome with.
In Facebook messages sent to a friend, Emily said she was too drunk to remember what happened.
She was nervous about Angus finding out, as he was supposed to be moving into a flat with this friend from rugby in second year.
She was nervous about Angus finding out, as he was supposed to be moving into a flat with this friend from rugby in second year.
This friend of Angus told Emily to keep the threesome a secret, and she decided not to tell him.
Yet the boy involved in the threesome told Anus , who then discovered that other people in the halls of residence and the rugby team knew.
The defence claimed “He was so horrified that his girlfriend had entered into a threesome with his family member that he lost it”,
Prosecutor Christopher Macintosh “ he couldn’t have been that shocked by the threesome because he had tried to persuade her to do likewise”.
Prosecutor Christopher Macintosh “ he couldn’t have been that shocked by the threesome because he had tried to persuade her to do likewise”.
Angus forgave the rugby teammate but ended the relationship with Emily and demanded she came to collect her stuff from his flat.
Emily was worried about going over, so asked a friend to go instead.
Emily was worried about going over, so asked a friend to go instead.
While her friend was in Angus’ room, she said Angus punched a mirror which shattered and went in her arm, and Emily took her to A&E. This charge was also brought to court, but it was dropped due to lack of evidence.
Angus Milligan then launched a 24 hour attack of Emily on WhatsApp.
He repeatedly calls Emily a “fucking slut”, “liar”, “bitch”, “cunt”, a “hooker”, and “a freak”. In one conversation, on 3rd March, Angus called Emily a “whore”, and “the worst person in Aberdeen” whilst she begged for forgiveness.
This carried on for the next 24 hours.
This carried on for the next 24 hours.
Despite these messages, Emily believed she was to blame.
Milligan’s humiliated rage became more public.
On 2 occasions he shouted abuse at Emily for all the hall of residence to hear.
“Emily Drouet from 86B is a slut and a whore.”
Emily was crying her eyes out, terrified.
On 2 occasions he shouted abuse at Emily for all the hall of residence to hear.
“Emily Drouet from 86B is a slut and a whore.”
Emily was crying her eyes out, terrified.
Emily’s friend Blake arrived after one incident.
“There was so much drama going on, girls crying, folks scared. My mates, who are guys, were crying as well,” he said.
“There was so much drama going on, girls crying, folks scared. My mates, who are guys, were crying as well,” he said.
Emily and Angus slept together again. Their mutual friends were becoming concerned Angus was sending mixed signals. One minute he was charming, the next he was sending her angry WhatsApp messages and trying to cut things off. And every time he did, Emily was devastated.
For now, the abuse was emotional and verbal. Then, a week after the first WhatsApp messages, Angus was with some friends in his room saying he was going to question Emily about the threesome and record their conversation on his phone.
He’d also prepared an email about what Emily had been up to at uni that was ready to send to Emily’s mum. He showed his friends the draft and told them he intended to send it.
The email was never sent.
The email was never sent.
Instead Angus headed over to Emily’s flat Angus and left half an hour later.
Angus had slapped Emily twice on the face, choked her, seized her by the neck, and pushed her against a desk.
He came out of Emily’s room calm, and told people in the flat what he’d done.
Angus had slapped Emily twice on the face, choked her, seized her by the neck, and pushed her against a desk.
He came out of Emily’s room calm, and told people in the flat what he’d done.
He played them the recording of the conversation he’d taken, and said he’d slapped Emily because she was lying to him.
One person there said it didn’t seem to bother Angus at all, and he was laughing about it.
One person there said it didn’t seem to bother Angus at all, and he was laughing about it.
But when challenged, Angus did agree that he shouldn’t have done it.
A photo taken by Emily shows her injuries:
A photo taken by Emily shows her injuries:
Emily came out of her room crying, saying she thought she was going to die in there. A friend told her she should report Angus.
She went to a Student Resident Assistant – and told them about problems with her aggressive boyfriend.
She went to a Student Resident Assistant – and told them about problems with her aggressive boyfriend.
They asked her if it was physical, but Emily, not wanting to get Angus into trouble, denied it. The report was signed off, and there was no follow up.
Emily blamed herself for what happened in that room. She messaged friends saying her boyfriend had attacked her and it was her fault. “You don’t deserve to be hit or strangled report him to the police Emily I am serious”, one friend texted her. “I deserve it” was Emily’s reply.
Angus and Emily patched things up again a week later. But, the threesome was still being discussed among their mutual friends.
And on 17th March, St Patrick’s Day, some friends decided to show Angus screenshots of the messages Emily had sent to her friends about it.
And on 17th March, St Patrick’s Day, some friends decided to show Angus screenshots of the messages Emily had sent to her friends about it.
Later the same day, St Patrick’s Day, Angus went into Emily’s block, where he was seen on CCTV entering the building.
According to Angus, they had an argument and then, despite weeks of on-off, he officially ended the relationship.
According to Angus, they had an argument and then, despite weeks of on-off, he officially ended the relationship.
He was then seen on CCTV leaving Emily’s flat.
At 9:41pm she messaged the friend she was going out with. “I don’t know if I can go out,” she said. “Angus just visited me. And he’s angry.”
At 9:41pm she messaged the friend she was going out with. “I don’t know if I can go out,” she said. “Angus just visited me. And he’s angry.”
Later that night, Emily hanged herself.
Angus asked Emily’s mother, via the university chaplain, if he could come to Emily’s funeral.
She said Angus could come, but only if he told the family what happened on the night Emily died.
Angus never turned up.
She said Angus could come, but only if he told the family what happened on the night Emily died.
Angus never turned up.
It was only 3 weeks after Emily’s death, that the full picture become clear of how Angus had treated Emily in the months leading up to her death.
Emily’s mother, Fiona, spoke to Emily’s friends about the night Angus choked Emily in her room and the WhatsApp messages he’d sent.
Emily’s mother, Fiona, spoke to Emily’s friends about the night Angus choked Emily in her room and the WhatsApp messages he’d sent.
With the help of a lawyer friend, Emily’s family began gathering evidence – interviews with friends, WhatsApp screenshots, anything they could find – to put a case together to present to the Scottish prosecutor.
Because of the law in Scotland, there was no automatic enquiry into the suicide like there would be in England. “It was horrendous to have to do it, because you can imagine the agony our family were in. But we had to, or there would have been no investigation,” Fiona said.
17th May 2016 , two months to the day after he’d visited Emily’s room the night she died, Angus was arrested on five charges of assault, one of abusive and threatening behaviour, one communications offence, and one of culpable and reckless conduct.
In his police interview, he said he acted physically to scare Emily into telling him the truth about the threesome.
While the case was being put together, Angus was released.
He was pictured clubbing, barely two weeks after his arrest.
While the case was being put together, Angus was released.
He was pictured clubbing, barely two weeks after his arrest.
At court, in July 2017, the case wasn’t put in front of a jury, so the evidence wasn’t examined.
Instead, the prosecution and Angus came to an agreed version of events that led up to Emily’s death.
In court, the prosecutor read this narrative out.
Instead, the prosecution and Angus came to an agreed version of events that led up to Emily’s death.
In court, the prosecutor read this narrative out.
Apart from Angus’ request to come to the funeral, the hearing was the first time he had been in contact with the family. Angus was accompanied by his uncle to court.
“He showed no emotion throughout the process,” Fiona says. “He even stared defiantly at us in court corridors.”
“He showed no emotion throughout the process,” Fiona says. “He even stared defiantly at us in court corridors.”
Angus pleaded guilty to one count of assault, the communications offence, and the threatening and abusive behaviour.
The other five charges, including one of choking Emily in her room on the night she died by suicide, were dropped due to lack of evidence.
The other five charges, including one of choking Emily in her room on the night she died by suicide, were dropped due to lack of evidence.
Anus Milligan avoided jail, and was sentenced to 180 hours of community service and a 12 month supervision order.
In the sentencing statement, the judge said the remorse Angus showed was “more to do with subsequent events and was not your position at the time.”
In the sentencing statement, the judge said the remorse Angus showed was “more to do with subsequent events and was not your position at the time.”
Angus tried to defend his actions blaming Emily’s threesome: he was so shocked that she could have done that with one of his family members, that he acted out.
“You encouraged this behaviour. Emily found your suggestion of it, and I quote, ‘creepy’.” the prosecutor said
“You encouraged this behaviour. Emily found your suggestion of it, and I quote, ‘creepy’.” the prosecutor said
Sheriff Malcolm Garden, sentencing Angus, didn’t accept this as justification, saying “there was no excuse for you behaving in the way in which you did.”
A few months after Angus Milligan had been convicted and expelled from the University, he turned up at the St Andrews Ball- a black-tie charity event and highlight of the social calendar for Aberdeen students.
Throughout the night, Emily’s friends were brought to tears and phoned their parents crying.
It would later emerge that Milligan had spent a year studying as a fresher at Oxford Brookes, where he’d been offered a place there just weeks after his conviction.
It would later emerge that Milligan had spent a year studying as a fresher at Oxford Brookes, where he’d been offered a place there just weeks after his conviction.
The family have also started a campaign to see increased funding for colleges and universities to support students affected by gender-based violence.
emilytest.co.uk
emilytest.co.uk
They have also started a petition to support students affected by gender-based violence. To date 13,056 have signed.
Please sign and share:
you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/emil…
#emilytest
Please sign and share:
you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/emil…
#emilytest
Further reading:
thetab.com/2019/02/08/emi…
thetab.com/2019/02/08/emi…
PF Aberdeen v Angus Milligan
At the beginning of the thread, I said this case was about entitlement and humiliated fury.
What do I mean by that?
In her excellent book, @jessradio describes humiliated fury as this:
What do I mean by that?
In her excellent book, @jessradio describes humiliated fury as this:
“ This deep, long-buried shame was much too painful for the men to acknowledge, let alone address. When their shame was triggered (in ways we will soon explore) the only way they could override its intolerable pain was to overwhelm it, even momentarily, with a feeling of power
This they achieved through lashing out, abusing, controlling or terrorising their loved ones. This is the destructive force of ‘humiliated fury’."
It is clear that Milligan felt humiliated by the threesome Emily had, with the man he originally suggested for a threesome except he had been excluded.
It was also clear that he viewed her actions as much worse than his own acts of infidelity.
It was also clear that he viewed her actions as much worse than his own acts of infidelity.
This would speak to the sense of entitlement felt by Milligan, who was described as the “alpha male of the campus”
A sense of entitlement is defined as "an unrealistic, unmerited or inappropriate expectation of favorable living conditions and favorable treatment at the hands of others."
Further reading:
betterhelp.com/advice/persona…
Further reading:
betterhelp.com/advice/persona…
In the words of Emily’s mother “ He is living his life unimpeded as if nothing has happened. Meanwhile we as a family have to live with the constant pain of losing Emily.”
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