Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #coercivecontrol

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Understanding Coercive Control

Part 31: Dehumanisation

Abusers control because they NEED to have control over another. Many also debase their victim by treating them as less than human to justify their behaviour.

#coercivecontrol #dehumanisation #DomesticAbuse
To dehumanise is to treat another individual or group as inferior. Many sociologists and historians believe that dehumanisation is an antecedent to violence.
Those who dehumanise do not persecute groups or individuals they perceive as equal but those they see as ‘less than’.
There are basically 2 forms of dehumanisation:

Animalistic Dehumanisation- When people are denied human traits, they are thought to be animal-like.

Mechanistic Dehumanisation- When people are denied human traits they are thought to be object-like.
Read 19 tweets
Understanding Coercive Control

Part 25: Parental Alienation

To understand the prevalence of parental alienation, we first need to understand the dynamics of abuse.
#coercivecontrol #domesticviolence #domesticabuse #parentalalienation #children #childcontact #familycourt
This isn’t a thread about whether parental alienation is coercive control or not. Alienation happens for reasons OTHER than coercive control (more of this later).
Parental alienation happens.

I personally know more mothers than fathers who have no contact with their children. I’m not saying this is an accurate reflection of society. All I’m saying is that,in my personal experience, I’m aware it happens to mothers more.
Read 19 tweets
Looking online at a lot of what identifies itself as ‘trans activism’ thru the prism of intimate partner abuse ( #coercivecontrol #suicidethreats #gaslighting #narcissism etc) things seem to me to fit a very familiar (& fundamentally womanhating) pattern.

Economic Abuse: making it hard for feminists and lesbians to speak out for fear of losing jobs.

This happens far too often. UK academia, charity sector, civil service... examples abound.

For truly crass examples see #yaniv #oger
Using Male Privilege: where to start?

*having 1000’s of other males vilifying women who stand up 4 their sex-based rights, online & in print

*85% of T-I-M retain male genitalia. Their word goes

*see banker, ‘Pips’ Bunce. Half the week he, half the week she. Wins woman’s award
Read 9 tweets
18yr old Emily Drouet committed suicide in 2016.
Her abusive ex, described as the ‘alpha male on the campus’
flew into a rage when he found out Emily was unfaithful.

This is only half the story.
This is about humiliated rage, entitlement and #coercivecontrol
The couple started dating in 2015 during the first semester.
According to newspaper reports, the relationship only soured after Milligan was told his girlfriend had been unfaithful.

This is only half the story.
Emily met Angus during Freshers week and by the end of first term, had started sleeping together. According to evidence given to prosecutors by Emily’s friends, it was mostly a physical relationship and they spent most of their time together in each others’ rooms.
Read 64 tweets
Understanding Coercive Control
Part 17: The Domestic Homicide Timeline by @JMoncktonSmith

This thread is dedicated to research by Dr Monckton Smith, which looks at an 8 stage relationship progression.


#coercivecontrol #coercionandcontrol
The link to the full research is here:…

Please read and share to understand about #coercivecontrol and escalation.
Women account for around 82% of victims in Intimate Partner Homicide ( mostly being heterosexual relationships involving a male perpetrator) whereas global homicide statistics show that men dominate as both perpetrators AND victims of homicide (95% and 80%).
Read 55 tweets
Understanding Coercive Control
Part 15: How to Avoid a Relationship with Coercive Control

Abusers look for certain qualities in a future victim.
Know the signs to protect yourself from manipulation.

#coercivecontrol #coercionandcontrol
1. People Pleaser

Do you have a need to please others and a need for their approval.
Do you put the needs of others before yours?
Do you do what other people want or expect of you?
If so, all of these qualities will make you more attractive to abusers.
If a person’s self esteem is tied up with pleasing others and being seen as nice, that is a quality that an abuser will exploit.
Read 18 tweets
Trolling and Online Abuse - Is there a difference?

#onlineabuse #cyberabuse #trolling #cyberstalking #kudostrolling #flametrolling
The definition of trolling is changing.

Trolling was seen as luring others online into pointless, time-consuming arguments and to ‘get a rise’ for a troll’s amusement or to alleviate boredom.

It has now become intentionally malicious behavior to specifically cause distress.
Definition of Trolling:

A deliberate attempt by to create conflict and distress by communicating inflammatory, provocative, and menacing comments to the target.

Trolling is recognized as an antisocial behavior that is perpetrated online.
Read 47 tweets
Gaslighting is psychological manipulation to make someone question their own memory, perception, and sanity.
The gaslighter aims to exert power and for the victim to be dependent on them.
The victim of #gaslighting becomes so disoriented, they start doubting their own reality.
The term first appeared in a 1938 British stageplay by Patrick Hamilton, called Gaslight, which was made into a film in 1940.
Here is the link to the film:
MGM bought the remake rights but insisted that all existing prints of this first film be destroyed,
Read 14 tweets
To understand coercive control.
To REALLY understand it, you need to understand how manipulators work. The things they know they can do, to bring us to our knees.

It goes without saying that the first thing they will control is HOW they present. The public at large will only ever see the
*nice* side.
They take an interest in you.
An intense interest.
They especially want to know about anything in your past that has caused you pain, upset or trauma.
They do this by prematurely disclosing some traumatic episode in their life to fool you into trusting them.
Read 24 tweets
@reveal @TreyBundy @TreyBundy 1/disappointed in the repeated use of cases where mother is abusive. My interview w/Joan goes into greater detail of the ways in which usually male abusers use PAS as a defense against legitimate claims of DV, child abuse child sexual abuse.
@reveal @TreyBundy @TreyBundy 2/ High conflict is not the same as abuse which is power and control. Former is about power struggle and latter is about domination and subjugation. The conflation of these two reinforces myth of victim as being partly or equally responsible! See my episodes in DV.
@reveal @TreyBundy @TreyBundy 3/family court is a racket and no one in the system is held accountable through systems. Let me know if you need survivor stories, transcripts, or recordings. Happy to make referrals. See Leadership Council stats attached.
Read 7 tweets
Conference on Coercive Control LONDON is this Saturday.
Here is what you can expect on the day:…
#coercivecontrol #ShineALight #CCCLon
The Keynote speaker at this event is Professor Evan Stark. He is the author of award winning book Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women In Personal Life.
Prof Stark developed the term #coercivecontrol to help us understand domestic abuse as more than a “fight”.
Professor Stark argues that #coercivecontrol is a pattern of behaviour that seeks to take away the victim’s liberty or freedom and to strip away their sense of self. It is not just the victim’s bodily integrity which is violated but also their human rights.
Read 18 tweets
If you follow this account, you will know it is concerned with #coercivecontrol and abuse that is #Invisibleinplainsight.
Covert abuse need not be #BehindClosedDoors- much of it, nowadays, is online and none is more deeply misunderstood than #mobbing campaigns.
Put simply, #mobbing is bullying of an individual by a group. This can be family, peer group, school, workplace, neighborhood, community, or online.

It is almost always malicious and relies on rumor, innuendo, intimidation, humiliation, discrediting, and isolation.
Mobbing campaigns rely heavily on the reluctance of bystanders to intervene which only adds to the distress caused to the targeted individual.

One of the main reasons bystanders do nothing is because they are simply not aware of how mobbing campaigns operate.
Read 21 tweets
1/ @TheTakeaway @tanzinavega really disappointed you had this guest on a show peddling controversial theories that weaponize the failures of the #criminaljusticesystem #racism and #massincarceration against survivors of #domesticviolence and #coercivecontrol.
2/#VAWAs failures lie not only in its non-holistic, non-systemic approach to addressing #DV—not as #coercivecontrol and not in coordination with child safety risks, as it should be—but also in its methodology, assumptions, implementation etc. @thetakeaway @tanzinavega
3/Just because #VAWA is flawed doesn’t mean you throw the baby out with the bath water. Her theories are dangerous to #survivors and hide its misogynist underpinnings as they center #abuser needs over #survivor and #child #safety, #stability #strength. @TheTakeaway @tanzinavega
Read 13 tweets

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