Thread by @K9Falo

It’s Move In Season & football season is right around the corner.

Since I’m retired, I thought I’d share some advice I’ve compiled over the years for incoming students... #thread

If you feel compelled to do stupid things because you’re 18 and that’s what 18 year olds do, I’d suggest searching the Ol Google Box for “University of Iowa smoking map”. If smoking is banned at a particular place, then it’s considered “on campus” & you definitely should not

be doing your stupid stuff there. UIPD may or may not take you to jail, but they will be writing a report. There is ALWAYS a report. That report and all of the body camera video will be sent to the Dean’s Office. That’s never a good thing.

Don’t smoke weed in the dorms. Or vape. Or smoke cigarettes. Or drink, assault people, harass anyone, sell/give your Adderall to anyone, buy LSD off the Dark Web & sell it,

... or take 5 hits of LSD you just bought from a guy who bought it off the Dark Web because why take one when you can take 5? Or do anything else stupid. Your RAs will call the cops, the cops will show up (see earlier tweet re: the Dean’s Office)

All kinds of bad things can and have resulted. Up to and including having your housing and dining contract cancelled because you violated the h*ck out of it. Good luck finding housing in Iowa City in the middle of the semester.

The fine for being in a bar in Iowa City after 10 pm under age 21 is like $450 for the first offense and it goes up from there. Nearly $1000 for the third offense. Don’t pay your fines and the court suspends your driver’s license. That’s one he*kin cover charge.

There are no fakes good enough to pass being run through NCIC and NLETS. That’s a trip to jail. If you use a real person’s ID & get a ticket or arrested under that name, you’ve also committed Malicious Prosecution.

Even if it’s your brother’s ID. If you’re from Illinois, congrats! Illinois will yank your driver’s license for that crap. Don’t be that guy.

Iowa law only requires you to be intoxicated in a public place for public intox. Iowa Code Section 123.46. Yes, bars are public places. Despite common belief, the Police aren’t out to arrest every drunk person downtown. Think about that for a second.

They could fill the jail 10x over on any given weekend. Stupid things catch their attention. Don’t leave your drunk friends anywhere (many have been abandoned by friends passed out on a bench alone),

don’t fight, have public sex, throw up, or make anything in public your toilet. You *should* be alright.

If the police say someone needs an ambulance because they’re too drunk and that person is not in handcuffs, they need to GET IN THE AMBULANCE. Let me repeat that...

GET

IN

THE

H*CKIN

AMBULANCE

If they refuse, they’ll be going to the hospital in handcuffs & then to jail.

Don’t be That Guy who wants to record some police interaction & gets themselves arrested because the police told you to back up & you wouldn’t. That’s a really stupid thing to go to jail for.

Yes, you can record all that your little Social Justice Warrior Heart desires. No, you can’t refuse a lawful order from a police officer. If they say back up, back the h*ck up, then back up some more. But keep recording.

It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, don’t walk home alone at night. Use Nite Ride. It’s free.

Seriously.

Don’t walk home alone at night.

This concludes my Intro to Staying Out Of Jail Lecture.

Have fun but take care of each other. Never, never leave your wingman.