Gail Simone 💙💛 Profile picture
Aug 22, 2019 15 tweets 4 min read Read on X
Okay.

What if Skyrim happened in Canada?

GO!

Please use hashtag

#SkyrimCanada
The Riften Tim Horton's has mud crab Timbits.

#SkyrimCanada
All the bards just play Barenaked Ladies songs.

#SkyrimCanada
Dammit, your stupid #SkyrimCanada tweets are making me laugh!
Your wife makes you one meal a day but it's always Ice Troll Poutine.

#SkyrimCanada
I'm sorry, but #SkyrimCanada is my new favorite anything and if it actually trends I will laugh my timbits off. Also, Farkas sucks.
Hahaha, #SkyrimCanada is trending. Twitter, you platform of weirdness, I love you sometimes!
My housecarl is Gordon Lightfoot.

#SkyrimCanada
Wait, I learned expert lockpicking and opened this chest for three loonies and some Smarties?

#SkyrimCanada
I modded Toronto and now everyone has seraphim bodies, even the guys.

WORTH IT.

#SkyrimCanada
They graybeards are just former members of Second City who do weird mountaintop unfunny improv.

#SkyrimCanada
Okay, you guys. I thought of my favorite #SkyrimCanada tweet.

But it’s so mean.

It’s just mean.

It has layers of mean.

Do I say it?
Okay. Fair warning, I love this joke.

#SkyrimCanada.

EVEN THE MODDED VERSION IS VANILLA.”
Hahahahaha, good lord.

I’ll leave Canada quietly now.

It was worth it.
In #SkyrimCanada, the Amulet of Mara is just some back bacon on a shoelace.

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More from @GailSimone

Jul 24
One of my favorite moments of the #DeadpoolAndWolverine World Premiere night.

The actual event was loud and flashy, the movie was bombastic. And I’m shy.

After it was over, walking back to my hotel with my beloved hubby…

1/
We saw Chris Claremont (resplendent in his pink jacket) in a quiet spot in a little park across from the huge event facade.

He took a photo, I think, and it might just be my fangirl imagination, but it seemed to me he was contemplating the spectacle and his role in it all…

2/
I didn’t want to interrupt.

So I just said hi, in passing. But he had some musings which I will treasure to have been there to hear.

And he talked a little about Hugh Jackman and the choices they made with the writing and performing of the character.

3/
Read 6 tweets
Jul 9
All right, so this will take a bit, but this is a thread I have wanted to do for a while.

This is it, the X-MEN: FROM THE ASHES mega-thread!

Interested in the upcoming X-books but a little overwhelmed by the new characters, creative teams, and titles?

Well, I had an idea!

1/
In this thread, I am going to give an unapologetic personal opinion about each of the upcoming titles, starting with tomorrow's X-MEN #1.

I admit up front I am biased, okay? These are MY opinions, I have not consulted with the creative or editorial teams.

2/
I have read all the issues of all these books so far. They are all creative teams I like. They are all pushing for the best books they can. And I am on a bit of an X-Men high and don't deny my OBVIOUS enthusiasm.

So bear that in mind. Get it? "Bear!"

3/
Read 30 tweets
Jun 30
I have a @jimlee story. Legendary comics writer John Ostrander needed eye surgery. A couple others and myself went all around SDCC to ask artists for an art donation to raise the funds to literally save not just his eyesight, but his eyes.

1/
It was for John Ostrander. And so I asked legendary artists that normally I would be intimidated just to talk to. We got pieces from Neil Adams, Matt Groening, and lots more.

Again, because it was for John, I worked myself up to ask the giants.

Everyone was lovely.

2/
But it was still intimidating. Asking legends whom I know get asked for stuff ALL THE TIME.

At the time, just as now, Jim was the biggest artist in comics. Not to mention…

…he was also my boss.

3/
Read 18 tweets
Jun 8
DR. PHIL: Now, I’m just an impartial observer, okay?

PENNYWISE: Heh heh heh we all float slobber drool heh

DR.PHIL: You’re an entertainer, You do great work with kids.

PENNYWISE: come down into the sewers Georgie heh heh hee

DR. PHIL: You have a great smile, you know that?
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DR. PHIL: I want to thank you for agreeing to an interview, but I warn you, I won’t be pulling ANY punches.

ZOMBIE: …

DR. PHIL: Zombie, why don’t people like you?

ZOMBIE: BRAINS

DR. PHIL: You have a thick skin.

ZOMBIE: SKIN YUM YUMMERS

DR. PHIL: Well, I’M sold.
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DR. PHIL: Dr. Lecter, I’m just gonna say it. I think you got railroaded by a ‘woke’ court system and the lamestream media who focused on the word ‘cannibal,’ and—

LECTER: Excuse me.

DR. PHIL: Pardon?

LECTER: My agent set this up. You disgust me. (Leaves)

DR. PHIL: Golly!
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Read 6 tweets
May 12
I have a Roger Corman story. It’s fun, but weird, as I am gathering most Roger Corman stories tend to be.

I was a fan of his movies and his legend and legacy.

At the very beginning of my comics career, his office contacted me.

1/
I was very new to writing professionally. I didn’t become a writer to make films, comics were not a stepping stone. And I had mostly been drafted, so my sense of value in myself as a writer was a bit shaky and tinged with a lot of, ‘how did I get here? What’s happening?’

2/
The idea that a legendary movie guy would contact me for anything made no sense. I still had my hair salon. I hadn’t even written very many comics, and I was pretty sure it was all going to go away very quickly.

Then I get this call.

3/
Read 17 tweets
Apr 30
I remind everyone of this each year, apologies for repeating myself.

This Saturday, May 4th, is @Freecomicbook Day! Please go and enjoy and have a wonderful time. Some great shops have sales, cosplay, events, guests, even treats planned for you, PLUS FREE COMICS!

1/
Howerer, this is just a gentle reminder that, unlike what many think, the stores DO have to pay for the comics they give away for free. They pay for them in bundles. This year there are dozens of individual comics being given away...imagine how much that might cost!

2/
But that's not all. They also pay (often outrageous) shipping on all those books.

Stores often pay for extra employees, decorations, advertising, cosplayers, guests, and lots more. It is EXPENSIVE.

3/
Read 8 tweets

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