Thread by @DuaneOBrien

What it’s like to be an extrovert-presenting introvert at a conference: a short thread

First things first: I want to do a deeper write up about this, and I’d like someone who wants to read that blog post to hold me accountable. But I need a few days to decompress.

Ok. By “extrovert-presenting introvert” what I mean is that I derive JOY from interacting with a wide range of people, but I do not derive ENERGY.

If you chatted with me at #MozFest that may not make much sense. Because I was probably SUPER energized when we talked. What that means is I was pouring energy into the conference.

I was getting energy out of the conference too. Some of that was coffee, some of that was excitement about outcomes and possibilities, some of that was that I was excited to see YOU.

I promise, if you picked up that I was excited to talk to you, every ounce of that was legit. I love some of y’all quite a lot.

And interacting in a large scale public setting with a couple thousand of you? That is an energy-negative exchange for me.

I pour energy into conferences because it’s worth it. But that energy comes at a cost. Usually sleep is the first cost. I’d estimate that I’ve managed 12 hours of sleep since I landed Thursday morning.

Sometimes the cost is food. I finally managed to get to dinner around 12-1am for the last couple nights.

Most of the time, the cost is just Time. I spend an immeasurable amount of times after conference interactions in recovery mode.

This why when I’m at a conference what you see is this:

And is you see me on the plane the next morning what you see is this:

I’m incredibly fortunate and privileged to have a job that will allow me some recovery time.and I’m grateful for that.

But if you saw me this weekend in a large crowd setting, and you picked up that I was getting twitchy, this is why.

So. I love you. I mean it. And I’ll burn all my energy reserves to talk you you for another half hour. Because I miss your face, and we are doing good work, and I want to do more.

Behind the scenes, it’s really taxing. But it’s worth it. I love my job more now than I ever have.

White tech dudes don’t talk about this stuff the way they should. And some of all y’all may not want to share this kind of experience. And if that’s you, I want you to know something.

I see you. That’s me, too. And when you see me tweet out things like “drink water. Take a break. Get some sleep.” I’m talking to you. But I’m mostly talking to me.

I wouldn’t trade this gig for any other right now. I love it. And I’m grateful for you when I say “i need to go now” and you say 👍

Love you. Mean it. And I’m gonna eat my dessert now.