Thread by @StarFeuri

It's #AutisticSpeakingDay and I don't have the energy for the long post that's in my head and heart right now.

But here's a short one.

Academic Violence:

1) at [conference], I listened to multiple panels describe autism as a tragedy. Something to pity. Autistic traits as something to avoid. Something to program out.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

2) at [conference], I learned that if I don't tell interviewers I'm autistic, they won't hire me because I won't look at them right. If I tell them I'm autistic, they won't hire me because of assumptions that I'm not a team player.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

3) at [conference], I sat as a panelist described making sheltered workshops more efficient through engineering. My heart raced, over 150 bpm, for 20 minutes. I held the jewelry box in my hand. I shook. Thinking about my family.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

4) at [conference], I had 3 migraines in 3 days from constant flash photography. Everyone apologized. The flash never stopped. The photographer glared at me.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

5) at [conference], I listened to multiple representatives of various disability resource offices claim that the best path to success for disabled students was to overcome their disabilities and become indistinguishable or exceptional.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

(5 cont) Every disabled keynote contradicted this. All the research shows this causes psychological harm. But our "helpers" weren't listening.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

6) at [conference], I was shoved by a presenter who didn't like my presentation. I had to sit while she described autistic children's own self loathing as hopeful progress for their parents.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

7) at [conference], I witnessed an anti vaxxer attempt to shift the anti vaxx conversation away from autism, and toward an argument that vaccines cause other disabilities. News flash. Disability is not worse than death. No matter which one.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

8) at [conference], there were so many access issues, we hosted a protest. I was trapped in an elevator. Friends were knocked over. Disabled people were locked out of accessible bathrooms. There was a sexual assault joke in a video demo.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

(8 cont) And we were chastised for not being polite enough about it.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

9) at [conference], despite spending a year advocating on the access committee, my accommodations were denied, preventing access to most of the conference. No one apologized.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

(9 cont) Eventually my request was granted. Though no one told me. I heard it third hand. And had to hope it was true. I never felt safe.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

10) at [conference], I had to sit through a panel where there were videos of autistic children being coerced through hand over hand.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

(10 cont) Schizophrenic and autistic people were described as having diminished opportunities for work and socialization as a natural consequence of their condition rather than as the result of ableism and saneism.

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(10 cont) And people with I/DD were denied free access to social media and instead had their favorite apps leveraged as normative therapy.

I cried three times in an hour.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

(10 cont) Disabled presenters and attendees were warned that we weren't polite enough during Q&A or on twitter.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

(10 cont) Disabled attendees bore the burden of having to explain the validity and necessity of our disabled keynote speaker to abled attendees who wanted us to absolve them of their guilt.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

(10 cont) All while abled (or able performing) allies were excited and insisted that things were going so well.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

(10 Cont) I had 5 people ask me to explain what violence in the academy was. Most of them were kind. Some remained unconvinced. Either way it was exhausting. Sometimes rewarding. But generally terrifying.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

(10 cont) I was reminded that if I name these conferences, my career is at risk. Rather than those that research, publish, and support the dehumanization of disabled people.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

(10 cont) If I name the (now multiple) people who have physically shoved me at conferences, I may never be hired, and they will always have their positions and status to protect them.

#AutisticSpeakingDay

If this doesn't seem short to you,

Believe me, I held back.

This is brief.

#AutisticSpeakingDay
#AutisticsInAcademia
#AcademicAbleism

This is just stuff that has happened at conferences and it's not even a full inventory.

And what is here is honestly /under described/ and /over simplified/.

I could write 5000 words about that jewelry box, for example.