1/So, today I must share something unrelated but very related to what I often tweet about. The harm of our criminal justice system. This is very raw and emotional for me, so please give me grace as I share.
2/ First you must know that my mother passed away when I was 16 years old, creating a very difficult time in my life. It was then that my aunt took me under her wing. We always joked that she was my “auntie-mom.”
3/ In 2014, after losing her father, and sister, my aunt’s husband abruptly passed away. She simultaneously started being more confused and depressed (which turned out to be Alzheimer’s disease). We moved closer to help her.
4/ At that time, a neighbor befriended her & my ailing grandmother. He started to isolate & alienate her from the family. When questioned, he continued to maintain that she wanted things this way. She slipped further into poor health, as she was not receiving care she needed.
5/ The “friendly neighbor” constantly claimed she was capable & he was helping her. I was persistent with visits and asked many questions, but he convinced her that HE was the only one that cared for her and that we were out to get her. It was a very painful time.
6/ To make a very long story short, One day I get a phone call from his girlfriend saying that my aunt was at the hospital & that there was no reason to be alarmed. Upon calling the hospital I was told that she was close to death but that her “brother” was there with her...
7/ Knowing she had no brother, I raced to the hospital only to find that her legal paperwork had been changed and that they would not speak to me. I persisted and made so many horrifying discoveries.
8/ This man had exploited HUNDREDS of thousands of dollars from my aunt, sold her property, alienated her from family and left her for dead because he thought he would inherit everything. The day she went to the hospital, he went to the bank to liquidate her accounts.
9/ Thankfully, I intervened and after several dangerous confrontations with this man, and months of struggle; I helped my aunt get stabilized, moved her closer to me, and set her up with the care she needed. Also after months, criminal charges were brought against him.
10/ The criminal justice system was brutal - information on what was going on was hard to come by. We were constantly reminded that the crime was not against my aunt or my family, but the state. We once drove 3 hours to a hearing only to be flippantly told
11/ That they had signed paperwork and no proceeding would be held that day. “Oops.” Then there was a period of time that they were pressing my aunt, who was very afraid, in and out of her memories, to testify on the stand. We were not listened to or heard.
12/ Now 2.5 years later, I was casually informed by phone that a plea deal has been reached. He will go to prison. A protective order has been issued. A sentencing hearing will be in a few months. My aunt may or may not understand what happened. As I sit here, I just feel hollow.
13/ What is justice? What do we want? We want accountability. To be heard. To look him in the eyes & tell him what this did to our family. How he had been trusted by someone who was vulnerable & she was more hurt by that than the money. To know this won’t happen to someone else.
14/ Life experience tells me that healing is not what him being incarcerated will provide. I pray that he has an opportunity to change. But what I know about prison is that he will be more broken when he comes out than when he went in, with less resources.
15/ Today we aren’t healed. We don’t feel triumphant. It does not give us the years we have lost, it does not help us trust people again. It does, however, release more harm and hurt into the world. And for this, I feel only despair. Thank you for indulging me. /END
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