I can't believe I have to say this, but there IS a difference between saying men with mental illness should pull themselves up by their bootstraps and noting that men with mental illness do less to actively manage their health than mentally ill women do.
(And then frequently somehow blame women for their worse outcomes.)
Men have as much ACCESS to mental health treatment as women do. They choose not to access it for a variety of reasons. But like regular healthcare, when they DO access it, they tend to actually be treated better than women by the same practitioners.
Sometimes "as much access as women have" still means none! But it doesn't explain it across the board.
When you point out that men aren't as proactive about their mental health and often expect women to pick up the slack, you're accused of not caring about men's mental health.
Women have BEEN caring about men's mental health. MEN need to care about men's mental health.
Men, if you feel outraged by your peers' poor mental health outcomes? CHECK ON YOUR FRIENDS.
You know what happens when a woman in my social circle has a mental health crisis? The girls all get together to make sure she has what she needs. We do a meal train if necessary. We help with chores, errands and rides. We schedule low-pressure social time.
You know what happens when a man in my social circle has a mental health crisis? The women still do all that. Unless he A. has a female partner and B. doesn't want everybody to know he's going through it, in which case his female partner does all that alone.
(Until HER mental health breaks down, in which case see step 1.)
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I am a very picky eater and have inattentive type ADHD. Sometimes this means that I get a craving for a food, attempt to acquire the food, do not pay enough attention, and end up with a food that is Wrong and that I will not eat.
Today I stopped at the further-away grocery store and saw some of those Italian bakery style cookies. The oval ones where one half has sprinkles. I bought a pack. Later, when I was really excited to eat them, I realized they were jelly sandwiches.
I hate jelly. I hate jelly donuts, jelly cookies, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Jelly is the ruiner of desserts. Jelly apologists do not @ me.
I rarely make "I have an MSW and..." tweets but I guess this is worth it: I have an MSW and it is impossible to "trauma dump" on your THERAPIST.
Even in relationships with laypeople, "talking about your trauma a bunch" is not even what "trauma dumping" MEANS.
(CW abuse, violence) "Trauma dumping" is when someone posts like "LOL my mom didn't know the difference between a booty call and a butt dial" and someone else replies, "Must be nice to have a good relationship with your mom, my mom tried to drown me in a bathtub."
It is definitionally talking about your trauma in a way that blindsides someone and violates the social context. That is not applicable to most conversations about trauma between laypeople, and it's IMPOSSIBLE TO DO in therapy.
I'm currently having a bummer of a healthcare experience at a Planned Parenthood. It is not anybody's fault and I am very grateful for this clinic, but I am having a bad time.
(I took PTO to get to my appointment on time. It is now two hours later and I have no idea when I'll be seen. All the staff have been lovely but I am hungry and deflated.)
It feels ungrateful and traitorous to complain, but it is very frustrating to know that if I could have afforded to pay four times as much to have my implant replaced at my primary care doctor's office, I would be home eating dinner right now.
A lot of people take it as self-evident that incels, redpillers, and other types of lonely toxic men whose violence we fear "need to go to therapy" and I have bad news for you about the level of training most therapists have in deradicalizing someone from a hate group.
I have an MSW and have lurked Incel forums for years, and I have no doubt that SOME of the guys who post on those forums could benefit from some cognitive reframing work and maybe antidepressants, but
A. To be honest, I don't see a ton of overlap between "the Incels likely to respond well to CBT" and "the Incels who go on to shoot people", so it's not exactly a safety solution
My only spicy take on fandom/criticism/media is that fandom spaces are mostly for people who liked the thing, and they stop being fun when more than 50% of the posts are people talking about what they hated about it.
Most of my takes on fandom/criticism/media are pretty milquetoast -- criticism is good, harassment is bad, you can both let people like things and let people critique things.
But when I'm in a fan space and more than half the posts are complaints, I get tired. If you want to spend a year of your life hate-watching something that you haven't enjoyed since Season 1, that's fine! But you probably don't need to be on the fan forums!
If you won't wear a mask in the store to protect other people from COVID-19, I had better not EVER hear you saying that a 14 year old girl should wear sleeves at school to protect her male classmates from having erections.
Please let this be my tweet that goes viral
I went to the principle's office because the length of my skirt was insufficiently considerate to a hypothetical horny person trying to learn! Do not even START with me until at least 100,000 young men have DIED OF BONERS.