My only spicy take on fandom/criticism/media is that fandom spaces are mostly for people who liked the thing, and they stop being fun when more than 50% of the posts are people talking about what they hated about it.
Most of my takes on fandom/criticism/media are pretty milquetoast -- criticism is good, harassment is bad, you can both let people like things and let people critique things.
But when I'm in a fan space and more than half the posts are complaints, I get tired. If you want to spend a year of your life hate-watching something that you haven't enjoyed since Season 1, that's fine! But you probably don't need to be on the fan forums!
I was a Twilight Hater in the late 2000s, and I wrote a lot about why I hated Twilight on my Facebook and so on, but I didn't go out of my way to find people who loved Twilight having fandom conversations and go "BUT HAS ANYONE CONSIDERED, THAT EDWARD IS VERY CONTROLLING?"
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I'm currently having a bummer of a healthcare experience at a Planned Parenthood. It is not anybody's fault and I am very grateful for this clinic, but I am having a bad time.
(I took PTO to get to my appointment on time. It is now two hours later and I have no idea when I'll be seen. All the staff have been lovely but I am hungry and deflated.)
It feels ungrateful and traitorous to complain, but it is very frustrating to know that if I could have afforded to pay four times as much to have my implant replaced at my primary care doctor's office, I would be home eating dinner right now.
A lot of people take it as self-evident that incels, redpillers, and other types of lonely toxic men whose violence we fear "need to go to therapy" and I have bad news for you about the level of training most therapists have in deradicalizing someone from a hate group.
I have an MSW and have lurked Incel forums for years, and I have no doubt that SOME of the guys who post on those forums could benefit from some cognitive reframing work and maybe antidepressants, but
A. To be honest, I don't see a ton of overlap between "the Incels likely to respond well to CBT" and "the Incels who go on to shoot people", so it's not exactly a safety solution
If you won't wear a mask in the store to protect other people from COVID-19, I had better not EVER hear you saying that a 14 year old girl should wear sleeves at school to protect her male classmates from having erections.
Please let this be my tweet that goes viral
I went to the principle's office because the length of my skirt was insufficiently considerate to a hypothetical horny person trying to learn! Do not even START with me until at least 100,000 young men have DIED OF BONERS.
INB4 "but male suicide rates!!!"
Women attempt suicide at four times the rate of men.
Male suicide attempts are more fatal.
The reason for that is guns.
If you want to eliminate the gender suicide gap but aren't willing to talk about gun control, I cannot help you.
Choice quotes:
"Few men have sustained participation in an activity that helps with emotional balance. Therapy would do it, meditation would do it. Church could do it, yoga could do it they were really into it. But most of these activities are dominated by women."
I can't believe I have to say this, but there IS a difference between saying men with mental illness should pull themselves up by their bootstraps and noting that men with mental illness do less to actively manage their health than mentally ill women do.
(And then frequently somehow blame women for their worse outcomes.)
Men have as much ACCESS to mental health treatment as women do. They choose not to access it for a variety of reasons. But like regular healthcare, when they DO access it, they tend to actually be treated better than women by the same practitioners.