Thread by @SamJamesMorgan

In *important* news, Matt Lucas is the new co-host of Great British Bake Off. A theory..., 1/

We can divide #GBBO into distinct phases a la the Roman Empire
OG GBBO is a mixture of Caesar, high Augustus, little bit of batshit Caligula/Claudius (Paul, of course), tailing off to Nero and debauched self-awareness
Inevitable end

Revamped #GBBO was Hadrian, M.Aurelius, Commodus (again, Paul). Bigger global appeal, more intelligent (Sandy) but lacking the original charm/raison d’etre of its predecessor. Bit soulless (Prue). Probably superior in quality but it’ll never be the first up on a teaching syllabus

New #GBBO is pure Domitian, Diocletian, all the nutters that let shit really go to fuck. The glory days are over, no one will acknowledge it. Old enemies like Gaul (Masterchef), Carthage (Ready Steady Cook) or even Pontus (Come Dine With Me) might knock it off its perch

#GBBO delenda est, as they might’ve said. I predict that like Domitian, the Lucan era will be condemned to damnatio memoriae by true scholars

I am willing to write this up into a full treatise for anyone who wants to commission it. Payment by bancontact or sestertii