Profile picture
, 3 tweets, 1 min read
My Authors
Read all threads
All weekend, and into today, my 4yo has been randomly singing "I believe I can fly" and I don't know where he heard it and I don't know how to explain to a 4yo about R.Kelly but everything feels really bad right now.
GRANDMA CONFIRMS... it was Space Jam.

I basically opted out of "my family" this weekend for some quality time with the Oculus. This (and, you know, the puking) is apparently my punishment.
I never thought my 7yo's off-key renditions of the emo song from the My Little Pony movie would be so pleasing by comparison to his brother's tastes. :)
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh.

Enjoying this thread?

Keep Current with Elie Mystal

Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @ElieNYC see all

Profile picture
Elie Mystal
@ElieNYC
This is some Ministry of Love shit right here.

Unsubscribe. UNSUBSCRIBE RIGHT NOW!
Me: Lucius Fox.
Heatmap VICKI: I'm sorry, that's not in your best interests.
Me: LUCIUS FOX.
Heatmap HAL: I cannot do that, Elie.
Me: LUCIUS FOX GODDAMN IT!
Heatmap Schwarzenegger: I know now why you cry, but it's something I could never do.
(Bonus points: name all four movies you had to see to get this tweet)
Read 3 tweets
Profile picture
Elie Mystal
@ElieNYC
There's... a tornado warning for my area?

I live in New York.

WTF, 2020?
I got nothing. My basement is halfway through mold remediation (that had to be halted thanks to corona). My roof started leaking last week (which I can't get anybody to come fix, thanks to corona).

I guess I'll just sit here and brush up on Munchkin etiquette just in case.
Okay, after the initial shock, my Indiana skills are coming back to me (I lived there for 13 months).

I got this. TO THE BATHROOM!
Read 3 tweets
Profile picture
Elie Mystal
@ElieNYC
I can’t believe they’re still airing this lying con-man live.

Just goes to show that, no matter the cost, the media will keep providing Trump an unfiltered platform.
This is the same country that had a general meltdown when Janet Jackson’s nipple popped out.
Whatever. I’m going to bed. Or at least under my covers.

The constant onslaught of Republicans trying to kill people (Georgia, Tennessee) matched with the inability to mount even a basic attempt to save lives, is really spinning me into depression.
Read 3 tweets

Embed code for your website

×
Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!