Thread by @goodyweaver

I am a survivor of both childhood and adult sexual violence. I want to preface this by saying, I’m ok now. I’m 47, been through therapy, became a therapist myself and worked with child abuse survivors, and have been happily married for 16 years.

With that said...

I am enraged at what I am seeing from centrist Democrats regarding Tara Reade. I am disgusted at the same old rape apologist excuses coming from them. “Why didn’t she call the police?” “Why did she wait so long?” Calling her a liar, a slut, even a Russian agent....

Here is my experience, as someone who reported and also did not report:

When I was maybe 10, I had an uncle who owned a farm. One year when we got to his farm for a summer visit, another female cousin advised me, my sister, and another cousin, “Don’t wear a pink nightgown...

- Uncle John likes them.” He’d make myself and my other female cousins go into a field to pick beans, then come feel us all up to determine who was “growing up” the fastest. When my cousin yelled to her grandmother on the porch to complain, she yelled back...

“Oh, he doesn’t mean anything by that.” He laughed.

When I was 12, another uncle, who had always been inappropriate and creepy to myself and my sister, tried to rape me. I was able to get out of the room and run. I told my mother. We told police....

They declined to do anything because he was elderly and I “wasn’t really hurt.” When my mom told his wife, we were disowned by that entire side of the family.

When I was 20, I had a physically abusive boyfriend. When I tried to break up with him, he broke in my house...

physically assaulted me, and raped me. When I called the police, 2 male police officers said it sounded like a “teenage spat,” said I didn’t seem really hurt (despite the bruise on my arm), and said “call back if he’s actually here again.” They didn’t even write anything down...

He eventually shot out my car window. The police said I had no proof it was him who did it and there was nothing they could do. He continued to threaten to kill me until he got a new girlfriend who he also abused...

At the first job I ever had, I worked with a guy who used to sneak up behind me and grab my breasts. When I told the manager, who was his friend, she said, “Oh, that’s just how he is. He’s gay anyway. Just smack him and tell him to stop.”

At a job in college, I worked with a guy who was an Army vet, really outgoing and friendly, hard worker, everyone loved him. When we’d work together alone on Saturdays, he’d watch porn and pull out his d*ck. I just tried to ignore him, because I didn’t think anyone would ...

believe me if I said anything bad about him.

Also in college, I had a friend who gave me OxyContin (at least that’s what he said it was) - which I had never had before - when I complained of severe neck pain at his house...

Woke up with him on top of me, really groggy and confused. He raped me as I mumbled “No, I don’t want you to do this,” and said, “Shhhh...it’s ok...I’m your friend.” I drove home and almost wrecked my car when I nodded off at the wheel from the pills. I knew if I called the...

cops, they would find out I had taken medication I wasn’t prescribed, and probably wouldn’t believe me anyway. He called me the next day and said, “I feel kind of bad, because it’s like I raped you.” I said “Yeah, you kinda did.” Didn’t talk to him anymore, but didn’t tell...

anyone till I told a therapist a couple years later and he confirmed that yes, this was actually rape.

Through all of this, I developed extreme anxiety, and was eventually diagnosed with PTSD. I was constantly worried I would be murdered at night, and sometimes didn’t sleep...

until the sun came up. When my kids were born, I became unreasonably hypervigilant, convinced someone was outside waiting to kidnap them. I developed serious sleep issues. Despite having a master’s degree, I stayed home with the kids until they went to school because I was...

so afraid they would be molested or abused by a babysitter or child care worker. Now my youngest is 10, and I still sit in the parking lot and watch the field during his entire soccer practice, making sure he’s not alone for one moment with a coach.

What is my point here? The point is that Tara Reade’s experience is not unique. Reporting and having nothing done - or being hurt yourself - is not unique. Not reporting because you know no one will believe you because “he’s a nice guy” is not unique...

Dealing with the fallout for years is not unique.

Watching the Democratic Party smear Tara, spew the same talking points survivors have heard for years, make excuses for an abuser as if he’s just “touchy feely,” & bleat about what a “decent guy” someone accused by not just...

Tara, but multiple women of making them feel uncomfortable and touching them inappropriately without permission has been gross and eye-opening, though only mildly shocking. It has confirmed to me what I already suspected - the Democratic Party is not a home for anyone with...

real ethics, who genuinely cares about women, or who wants to make the world a better place. I encourage you, if you fall into our small group, to #DemExit this party and help us build something real. And if you got this far, thanks for reading.