Thread by @warikoo

A thread on taking difficult decisions in life...

Several years back, I got a call from a current student of ISB.
It was Day 1 of placements and the student was "struggling".

"I have an offer from Mckinsey and Google. And I don't know what should I do? Gawd, this is so stressful!"

(well, I wish EVERYONE in the world had THIS stress in their lives)
"I don't have an answer for you. I have a question though. May I ask?"

(couldn't you just give me the answer and drop this Buddha persona for once!)
"Sure, what's the question?"

"What is the most important thing for you in life, right now?
Something so important, that you are willing to compromise on everything else?"

"Ummm - learning. I want to be learning right now in life. Very important!"

"Fair. Is learning so important that you are willing to work in a shitty company, with shitty pay, and a toxic culture, but you get to learn A LOT?"

"NO! That sounds awful."

"Then learning is not the most important thing you want in life right now. Think again."

"Ok ok. It is money."

"Fair. Is money so important that you are willing to work with an asshole boss, horrible work hours, you learn nothing, but it pays you A LOT?"

"No!That sounds awful"

"Then money is not the most important thing you want from life right now. Think again"

Unfortunately, the student had neither the time nor the inclination to go through this journey.
Ended up taking one of the offers.
And quitting in a year.

Here is the thing with us humans...

If we do not know what we truly want in life the most, at that point of time

the next best thing that we want
is
everything!

EVERYTHING!

And we end up selecting a choice that is closest to this everything.

BUT
The one thing that we truly want from life, is left unattended.
We say we are not really happy.
When we haven't done anything to make ourselves happy.
We have just compromised and settled for the average.

Don't know what you truly want from this relationship, more than anything else?

You then want everything
Love, security, friendship, good looks, funny, compatible, affectionate, fighter, emotional, gives space, understanding, affectionate
And loves to cuddle...

Don't know what you truly want from this job, more than anything else?

You want everything
Work-life balance, a great boss, learning, high pay, recognition, respect, brand, offsite, TT table, bean bags, smart colleagues
And free lunch...

Don't what you truly want from life, right now?

You want everything
Stability, excitement, growth, predictability, vacations, house, car, relationships, peace, fulfillment, sleep, great food
And netflix...

"What is it that you want most from life right now?"

It is an easy question to ask, not a simple question to answer.

It is ridiculous how many of us have never asked this question. And thus have no inkling of what it could be.

When I have gone into deep discussions with people on this, they have been left mostly surprised at their own realizations

"I realized the only thing I truly care about right now is to be close to my parents"

"I want to save my marriage. Nothing else is more important"

"My boss's approval is the most important thing for me right now."

"I am willing to do anything to get to my financial independence"

"I know it might change, but for now, I want fame."

And that is the beauty of this mental model.
It is not permanent.

What you want from life right now, WILL CHANGE.
And once it does, you will know what else you want, more than anything else.

And that awareness will dictate your direction.

People spend insane time trying to come up with the right decision.

There is no way to do that!
No one and nothing can tell you whether the choice you are making is right or wrong.
Its just probability.
And every opinion is colored with their own assessment of this probability.

And in my opinion, the best probability for the "right decision" is when you do something that attends to your inner needs.

The core motive/idea/problem/thought that drives you currently.

Feed your soul with the one thing it craves for the most right now.

If you focus on more than 2 things, then you focus on nothing!

Fin.