Thread by @garwboy

Did I ever tell you guys about how I have the world's greatest neighbours? Because I do

They're Bangladeshi Muslims who own an Indian restaurant. An award winning one. Nigel Slater has been to their house, as the dad is one of the nation's best Indian chefs, it turns out

/1

First week we moved in, they brought us several boxes of leftovers from their restaurant. Apparently they do this for most surrounding houses. They tentatively asked if we were 'interested' in Indian food

My wife is Indian

She doesn't like it a fraction as much as I do

/2

The woman who owned the house before us passed away, but apparently she was quite openly racist and hated children. Neighbours' young children had learned to hear her growing up, which is awful

/3

So she passes away, the house gets sold, then we rock up. Thirtysomething mixed race couple with a 1 year old. Seems they were seriously relieved to see us and wanted to make friends asap. They did this with food. I am very friendly with anyone who gives me awesome food

/4

They keep dropping off leftovers at random times. The Dad who's the brilliant chef is lovely but really shy, so puts food on our doorstep, rings the doorbell, and runs away. It's like the best possible prank, or if fairies had moved into Indian cuisine. It's awesome

/5

It's not entirely great, admittedly. They're always experimenting with new recipes at home, at unusual times. When I used to have a day job, I'd regularly walk out the door at 8am into a haze of incredible smells. IT'S WEIRD TO CRAVE A CURRY FIRST THING IN THE MORNING!

/6

It was worse for the landscapers who did our driveway a few years back. All day they were out there, inhaling the spicy aromas, staring forlornly at their cheese sandwiches and sausage rolls in their lunchboxes

/7

Neighbours spotted this and brought food out to them when they could. Somebody else's builders, giving them your own cooking. Who does that?

But still, you're immersed in that delicious aroma for a whole week, it reeeeaaaallly gets to you, it seems.

/8

Head builder, was his birthday at the end of the week. His wife picked him up when he was done. It went like this

Wife: "So let's go for a meal. Do you fancy Chinese or-"

Him: "INDIAN! JESUS CHRIST I NEED A CURRY! NOW!!"

Try living with that all the time! It's... awesome!

/9

It's a two way thing. We help them out whenever we can. They're daughter was applying to university this year. Psychology stuff. Asked if either wife or I had any experience with postgraduate psych.

Well... [finger guns]

/10

Thing is, it's Ramadan now. A period where Muslims have to fast between sunrise and sunset. They spend all this time cooking. Like, loads. Is that normal? Seems counterproductive to me, but it's not my thing.

But it does mean we get a LOT of leftovers

/11

To turn it a bit more sombre, the day after my Dad's funeral last week (LAST WEEK?!!?) was a write off. Wife was OK enough to have the kids, I was a grey lump in the spare room. Opted to order a takeaway, cooking was just too much.

Then...

/12

Doorbell rings. It's the neighbours. "Would you like some leftovers? Everyone wanted different meals so we ended up making about 12 different things"

Easily 3 days worth of food in boxes. Varying cuisines as well. Absolute godsend at that point. They were blissfully unaware

/13

Few days later, mum neighbour dropped some excess cakes round (excess cakes?!?) Wife explained what a massive help they'd been after my Dad's funeral. Neighbour was surprised. Her response?

"Do you like grilled meat?"

We do, but that was an odd reply

/14

She comes back an hour later, with a massive grilled meat platter, on a bed of rice. Easily £40 in any decent restaurant.

"It's leftovers", she said. Was it bollocks. But if it's leftovers, we can't pay them for it (that's their stance, and I won't risk ruining it)

/15

Thing is, me having neighbours who dispensed free Indian food was one of the only things my father ever admitted to being envious of me about. He called me a 'Jammy c**t' when he found out

/16

So them giving us more food because of his passing, that seems almost like an insult to him and his memory.

Not enough to make me want to stop them, though. That would be ludicrous, and probably annoy Dad even more, wherever he is right now

/end

Ooh, forgot to say; Dad neighbour grows Naga Viper chillies in the greenhouse next to our fence. That's the 2011 hottest chilli on Earth

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naga_Vipe…

This explains why snow never settles on said greenhouse, and why it glows red some nights