1. Hello and welcome! It’s episode 299 of #MrMrsBetterHalf. Mr. & Mrs. Better Half is designed to strengthen marriages & relationships that will lead to marriage, with wisdom from God's Word. 
2. If you missed the last episode, we dealt with ‘I love you but you are driving me crazy!?’ If you missed it, catch up here wakelet.com/wake/_9TyXQZDH… #MrMrsBetterHalf.
3. This week’s situation is a cry for help, ‘Help! My spouse is spoiling our kids’. Here I see 2 main issues. A disagreement on how the kids are being raised, and the possibility that one parent is being saddled with the responsibility of disciplining the kids. #MrMrsBetterHalf.
4. The ongoing crisis across the world has forced a lot of us to either stay at home or work from home. This in turn means that parents now spend more time with their kids. #MrMrsBetterHalf.
5. Parenting is critical because raising your children could possibly be the greatest God-given task you will be given. We are not talking about inanimate resources here but actual human lives and destinies. #MrMrsBetterHalf.
6. For some parents, this season is hard because prior to this time you spent your days with other adults. Now being with children (especially those under 10 years) who always need something can be trying. #MrMrsBetterHalf
7. Many times you may be tempted to simply give them what they want so that they can keep quiet or just leave you alone in peace. But as we all know, that is not good parenting. #MrMrsBetterHalf
8. Now is the time for you to learn the balancing act of loving your children while instilling discipline in them. Helping them understand appropriate behavior, structure and boundaries, without alienating them in the process. #MrMrsBetterHalf
9. This can be even trickier if one parent is extremely lenient with the kids while the other disciplines them. Being kids, they might either see the lenient parent as one they can walk all over or see the other as unnecessarily difficult. #MrMrsBetterHalf
10. Ideally you should have devised a parenting roadmap before your children were born but if you didn’t, there is no better time than now to course correct. My first question is: do you have a vision for how your children should be raised? #MrMrsBetterHalf
11. When you think of your child at 21, what do you see? What kind of character? What physical or mental ability? Do they have passion and compassion for God and people? Now that you can see them, how do you plan to make that vision a reality? #MrMrsBetterHalf
12. Just as you plan for your business/career, you should plan for your children. What values will you instill? What kind of schools will they attend? When do they learn basic life skills? #MrMrsBetterHalf
13. Our job as parents is to educate, provide for and raise our kids in the way of God so that when they grow up, they have the tools to make the right decisions and become the people God ordained them to be. #MrMrsBetterHalf
14. Get a bit granular about some of these things. When do you share your faith with them? How do you model it for them? How much of your culture are they to imbibe? How about diet and extracurricular activities? #MrMrsBetterHalf
15. What are the rules that govern their social lives? How do you manage entertainment, exposure to adult things and to the world in general? When and how do you start discussions as regards sexuality? #MrMrsBetterHalf
16. Again parenting is not one person’s work. Thankfully these days both men and women are working from home. So fathers, (since you are usually the ones who typically spend less time at home) this is the time to step up. #MrMrsBetterHalf
17. When one party does most of the work, it not only overburdens that parent but the experience is not balanced for the child. People that have daddy/mommy issues can usually trace these emotional issues to an absentee parent. #MrMrsBetterHalf
18. Please note that absenteeism isn’t only physical. Joint parenting builds friendship and improves your relationship. Parenting is an eventful ride and you can share the successes, joys, highs, lows, cares, fears, etc. Don’t miss out on it! #MrMrsBetterHalf.
19. Now to the meat of the matter. Spoiling is relative and a matter of perspective. Does your spouse love your children? Would s/he deliberately hurt them? If your answer is ‘no’ then take a breath and let’s examine the issues. #MrMrsBetterHalf
20. It is possible that your interpretation of the situation is inaccurate. Remember you and your spouse were brought up differently. This might colour your perception. #MrMrsBetterHalf
21. Now that the kids are schooling from home, do you think that they should be given more chores and your spouse doesn’t agree? Or maybe you disagree on the number of times they should eat per day or if they should get everything they ask for. #MrMrsBetterHalf.
22. Your spouse may think that after a full day of online schooling, the kids shouldn’t be burdened with many chores as if they have done nothing all day. Or that they should eat healthy snacks if they are hungry, rather than stay wanting till the next big meal. #MrMrsBetterHalf
23. Can you see that it is a matter of perspective? It’s not that your spouse wants to spoil the kids but s/he doesn’t consider your school of thought the only pathway to discipline. #MrMrsBetterHalf.
24. What’s the middle ground? What do you want to see in the child? Respect, prudence, a sense of responsibility evidenced by the proper and dutiful execution of tasks. Can you achieve that in the light of the 21st century? #MrMrsBetterHalf
25. Can you decide on definite rules/guidelines for showing respect to elders and peers, tasks they must execute at home, vocational skills that teach the value of hard work, regulate their study time vs. entertainment time, etc.? Please do so. #MrMrsBetterHalf.
26. Now on the other hand, the problem might actually not be you, it is possible for your spouse to be in love with being the ‘fun parent’ who doesn’t want to “discipline” the kids. Now if I’m talking to such a parent, you are acting irresponsibly. #MrMrsBetterHalf
27. Your family doesn’t need a ‘good cop and bad cop’ situation, your children need to know that both their parents love them enough to act in their best interests at all times. Even when it requires tough love and discipline. #MrMrsBetterHalf
28. Being a parent that cannot command respect puts your child in a precarious position. S/he is exposed. Who will they go to when they have serious issues they’re grappling with? Surely not the ‘fun parent’; you’re only good for a laugh. #MrMrsBetterHalf.
29. Sometimes parents are scared that if they are too strict, their kids will hate them. We forget that discipline is two sided. With one hand you correct and with the other you love. There’s a balance. #MrMrsBetterHalf.
30. If you are balanced in your parenting style, your children will both love and respect you. I must also mention that especially in the early years, your children need you as a parent more than as a BFF. #MrMrsBetterHalf.
31. And if you and your spouse disagree on parenting style, resolve them quickly and privately. Your children should not be privy to your arguments or think one parent is for or against them. #MrMrsBetterHalf.
32. Present the solutions you arrive at to the children as your joint decision. Let there be no winner or loser - let the kids see that you arrived at the decision together. #MrMrsBetterHalf.
33. I hope this has been helpful to you. I will be back next week with another topic. Until then, thanks for following, participating and RTing. May your marriages and relationships be sweet! #MrMrsBetterHalf
