Thread by @ArmaniTalks

Toxic people are often very good with words

Their toxicity is like a sport. They've practiced with different humans

Theyll claim to change. And unfortunately bud, it's on you for consistently getting duped

Eventually, you need to sharpen that judgment. Take all the blame

'What do you mean their toxicity is like a sport?'

Meaning they practiced it...

'Practiced being toxic? You sound like an idiot!'

Nah, its true

There's 2 kinds of practice out there...

-intentional
-unintentional

Intentional is when you want to fix a certain part of your life.
So you set the goal to practice it.

Unintentional is when it happens without your awareness.

Say you wanna be better at small talking.

Well, you make yourself aware that you want to get better.

And you start talking to more individuals.

Intentional practice

The unintentional one is when you have no clue...

'Example?'

Practicing being distracted.

No one wakes up in the morning and is like:

'I wanna be more distracted today!'

Yet it happens....

Why?

it happens bc these humans are scrolling on their phone too much.

Going from content piece to content piece.

Which relays as thought to thought in their mind.

They are PRACTICING being distracted...

unintentionally tho

toxic people are like that.

The people you consider extremely toxic may not perceive themselves to be the same.

It's because they invested a lot into unintentional practice

These groups of toxic people are great at people skills.

in a destructive way.

Good people skills in a destructive way examples:

-Shifting blame
-Pretending to give compliments while really insulting
-Turning others against you

Skilled individuals that are unaware they are skilled in the first place.

And expecting them to change because you 'wish' it ain't going to diddly squat

We know how hard it is to change in context to our life.

Whether we are trying to pick up a habit.
-dealing with setbacks.

Whether we are trying to drop a habit.
-dealing with withdrawals

now imagine change coming when someone has no CLUE that they need change.

Remember champ, they have been doing unintentional practice.

'Is this why smart people stay with toxic people? Bc they THINK or WISH the toxic person can change?'

Yessir

But to make matters worse, when the toxic person doesn't change, the smart person resents them.

'I can't believe that this human is not updating paradigms.'

This makes logical sense.

But not sense in the emotional intelligence world

the emotional intelligence world follows different rulesets than the intellectual world.

'Why?'

Bc intellect is objective science.

Emotional intelligence is subjective science

subjective science becomes unlocked when YOU take accountability for your own life.

That's when the judgment becomes sharpened.

A sharp judgment is earned though thru pain.

But the pain is worth is bc it makes you tougher

Constantly getting duped is your problem, not the other person's

Tough to deal with.

But if you want to be logical, then stick to objective science.

The world of dry facts & rational.

Those rules do not work with humans tho

when you follow objective laws in a subjective field like people skills, you get:

-rage
-anxiety
-a loss of answers

when you follow subjective laws in a subjective field like people skills, you get:

-peace
-judgment
-a lot of answers

Subjective science & emotional intelligence comes down to using your experiences & emotions as data.

And extracting knowledge from it.

When you can properly do this, you will understand why the toxic human behaves the way that they do

For this toxic human...

They have rewired their perception for the worst.

Corroded their vision

Don't hate them. Empathize with them

You learn to slow down your moves as the judgment sharpens.

Maturation is a game of being more like water rather than trying to brute force thru things.

And you get there one day.

One step at a time

Just bc people are good with words does not mean they are good with character.

Either learn that now or later.

But we all learn...

For more social skills insights, follow @ArmaniTalks