Thread by @Kahjahkins

I wanna thank EVERYONE who has been reaching out to check on me and the Black folks in their lives. It has been a very long week. For me personally it has been a very long 41 years. Seeing our community reach for help alongside allies in the fight has been helpful.

Sitting with my thoughts this morning and watching the events that happened overnight reminded me of how many times in my own lifetime I’ve seen throngs of Black people take to the streets to defend their humanity.

For me, it started with Yussef Hawkins, then Amadou Diallo, then Rodney King..etc. There were names lost in between those human beings that we don’t share as often. Lots of women, lots of children. Lots of mothers and fathers, sisters, brothers.

I’m weirdly fine, my personal circumstances have probably never been better. Good job in an industry I love. AMAZING partner who holds me down. Hobby that does some good for the world and lets me interact with some of the most brilliant minds on the planet talking about games.

But what got me this morning was this recognition of this perpetual version of racial Groundhog Day. Where I and other Black people continue to go thorough this cyclical damage with no end in sight. I’m doing well mentally because I’ve seen this before. This is my 1000 yard stare

I can map out each layer like an American white supremacy “choose your own adventure” I know the plot and all the permutations. I know that whichever direction I choose is more about an inconvenient and middling mitigation of damage than an actual move towards freedom.

I know that due to the current state of society that voices with bigger numbers and less stake in the actual game will rise to the forefront of conversations they can convientely leave. I know that with every person we DO hear about their are so many that we never recognize.

I know that someone in the middle of me telling them that #BlackLivesMatter that they will throw DOJ crime stats that are supposed to reflect Black people’s inherent criminality at me and that this point I and others have debunked dozens of times over.

I shouldn’t have to know these stats like the back of my hand or the arguments about Intraracial vs interracial crime just to defend my humanity against people too stupid to understand how population numbers work or how humans have always behaved.

Another thing I know is that we continue to have these arguments because there is a fundamental brokenness when it comes to the understanding of how we continue to get here. I’m infinitely dumbfounded at how Americans specifically can’t fathom why we see buildings burning now.

It just reinforces the whitewashing of white violence the country was built upon. You can’t deny this, at every turn white violence has molded this country in the images you see today. Steal land, steal culture, steal souls, steal progress, steal hope, steal calm, steal peace.

Steal all these things and then blame other people for reacting in a way that is ONLY human. That shit is CRAZY. How can you not reflect on Slavery, Jim Crow, redlining, bombings of Black Wall Street, Philly, Stand Your Ground, the drug war and not understand why things burn.

It is a TESTAMENT to souls of Black people & Black HOPE that America isn’t constantly on fire.

So when you see the consistent double-standards in the ways different groups of people are displayed, policed, de-platformed. It is YOUR JOB to call that out if you want change to happen. This is not a time for fence sitting. This is not a time for strategic messaging.

Use your voice, platform, your time to do that work. There are no more excuses. If I can put my life and livelihood on the line to speak up about injustice the least you can do is to do the same.

So this is the balance I face everyday. These thoughts aren’t new, they morph, they see-saw, they simmer.

With all that i’m still ok today and I love you all. I see and recognize folks doing the work. I am grateful for you today. ✊🏾❤️

Support @SpawnOnMe & other Black creators.