We were told we couldn’t have more than 10 people at an outdoor graveside service in Maine literally 10 days ago. People were afraid to come see my family.
We couldn’t have the normal funeral/wake/grieving process. Maine Medical wouldn’t let my father, who was dying, have more than one visitor TO SAY GOODBYE until the organ donation people fought for us. They allowed up one more.
We had people leave stuff at our door—knock and sprint away because they were afraid of being caught or catching the virus that none of us had.
It was kind of them to bring stuff, but it does make you feel a bit like a leper.
Hell, even PEOPLE ON THIS HELLSITE were chiding me for wanting to go on a hike with one other person so I didn’t have a meltdown. “You have to isolate for two weeks!! It’s not safe!!!!”
My best friend was too spooked to come down for the service because her car had out of state plates and at that point there was a decent chance she’d be keyed or harassed.
I actually assigned a friend of mine who came to the service a tombstone she could pretend to be mourning at if they police came to break up our gathering. AT A CEMETERY. DURING MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND. BECAUSE THAT WAS A LEGITIMATE FEAR AT THE TIME.
And for what it’s worth, YES, I think Black Lives Matter and YES I’m as horrified as the rest of you by the death of George Floyd and I want justice.
But why in the hell did my family (and so many others) go through all of this apparently completely unnecessary fear and anguish and anxiety over social distancing and following all of the rules and hand washing and not hugging people? I don’t get it.
And I’m sorry for the rant but I’m just so frustrated and scared and sad at literally everything in the world and everything is breaking down at once and I just cannot handle this many crises at one time.
To doubly clarify: I don’t have a problem with gathering. I have a problem with how my family was led to believe we could be in trouble if we had 11 people gathered at an outdoor event. That clearly isn’t the case in Maine today.
THAT is where my frustration comes from. Nobody, of any creed or color, should be worrying about the police interrupting a religious service and issuing citations. But that’s what I was doing when I buried my father.
So yes, it all just does seem like a huge slap in the face.
I hope this clears things up.
I hope this clears things up.
