White folks:
You're gonna make more messes in these days. You want to speak out while you're not equipped to recognize the damage you're causing. You want to lean into your privilege yet you'll immediately center yourself. This is inevitable. So now what?
Some thoughts:
You're gonna make more messes in these days. You want to speak out while you're not equipped to recognize the damage you're causing. You want to lean into your privilege yet you'll immediately center yourself. This is inevitable. So now what?
Some thoughts:
Avoid saying "but" when you tweet. *Especially* if apologizing. Too often we take the focus away from the important statements we say while begging for validation. Do not do this.
"I'm so sorry, but I ____ " -- see how that ignores the impact? Stick to "and" or start a new line.
"I'm so sorry, but I ____ " -- see how that ignores the impact? Stick to "and" or start a new line.
Learn to rebound.
The sooner you acknowledge a misstep, the sooner you can get back to listening, doing the work, and representing yourself the way you intended. So much of what we need to do is make sure our impact matches intensions and, when they don't, rebound. Fix it.
The sooner you acknowledge a misstep, the sooner you can get back to listening, doing the work, and representing yourself the way you intended. So much of what we need to do is make sure our impact matches intensions and, when they don't, rebound. Fix it.
Recognize that you have privilege to burn. You're able to speak out in ways that are less likely to face consequences so use that privilege and say something. Particularly if problematic behavior is coming from huge platforms or positions of power. Step up and turn on the lights.
Not feeling comfy at all? Your conditioning won't be shifted over night. It won't. In the least, continue to amplify the messages from the folks impacted by current events. We're focused on #BlackLivesMatter so stick to the Black community for your information. Go to the source.
Here's the big one: so much of what you do - especially if new to speaking out - will look performative as hell. Frankly, we won't know until you continue the work. Your consistent behavior is all that adds up so take the accusations but do NOT shut down. Keep going.
Keep a circle of white pals with whom you can learn, but don't expect to be guided by these spaces. Consider these groups as extra sets of eyes to catch you before you fall into another hole that you missed. These groups absorb your harm and offer a quick means to check yourself.
Reflect on your growth. Benchmark your actions and notice that what you're doing today is likely more than what you might have done years ago. Just keep that for yourself as motivation and do NOT publicly seek gold stars and cookies. Remember, we're way behind and catching up.
Knock out the "I want to hear more sides" bullshit. As a recovering devil's advocate and an ongoing data head, I understand why you want to scratch those itches and "cover all the bases," but you're distracting from the fires in front of us. Stay focused on the immediate needs.
Finally, keep listening, learning, and adjusting. We're all pushing for a reality that wasn't designed to exist and we're going to need all the help from every angle. Stay focused and do whatever you can to keep from burning out. We get there together or not at all. Thank you.
Oh, and as you like and/or think to retweet this, remember that I, too, am on this journey and constantly challenging the decades of conditioning I faced.
I am merely offering my own, personal reminders and the rest is on you to go beyond what Another White Woman thinks. TY :)
I am merely offering my own, personal reminders and the rest is on you to go beyond what Another White Woman thinks. TY :)
