Thread by @MotherhoodnMore

An analogy about expectations for my fellow white people who may be just diving into #antiracism education:

Imagine showing up to a class an hour late. How would you expect the professor to respond to your entrance?

Would you expect them to greet you at the door, tell you how happy they are that you arrived, walk you to your seat and make sure you were seated comfortably? Ask you if you have everything you need, and thank you for showing up?

Would you expect them to take time away from the class to do that, and would that even feel appropriate?

OR would you expect them to say, “Hi, take a seat.” Or perhaps nothing at all—maybe just give you a glance while they get on with the class as you find a place to sit?

And how would you enter that class if you were an hour late?

Would you walk in and announce, “Hey, I’m here!” and give a big explanation for why you are taking the class and what took you so long to get there, diverting the class’s attention and taking away valuable class time?

Would you walk straight up to the professor and say, “Sorry I’m late, but could you please go over what you’ve covered in the last hour with me?”

(Imagine the professor’s face if you did that, and hold that thought.)

OR would you quickly and quietly sit down, open your book, and do your best to keep up with where the class is now, knowing you’re going to have to catch up on the first hour’s material on your own (maybe borrowing someone’s notes to help with what you’ve missed)?

Would the professor be glad that you were in the class? Sure. Better late than never.

But would you expect them to express gratitude or happiness that you finally showed up? Of course not.

Now imagine the professor’s life depends on people like you showing up for class. Imagine that they’ve seen countless students arrive late, sit down for a few minutes, decide the desk is too uncomfortable or the subject matter is too hard, then walk out, over and over and over.

Would you expect them to feel relieved at your arrival? Would you expect to be met with a warm welcome, or some understandable skepticism?

White folks, we are that late student. Only we are far more than an hour late.

If you’re just diving into anti-racism work and it feels a bit pricklier or less patient & welcoming than you expected, this is why. We don’t get a cookie for showing up to a place we already should have been. We shouldn't expect an open-armed welcome because we finally arrived.

We might be embarrassed when we realize how late we are. We might feel like we have good reasons for it. But lengthy apologies and explanations just waste valuable time and no one really wants to hear it, no matter how heartfelt or sincere.

The class just wants to move on.

We’re undoubtedly going to feel a little lost. But if we raise our hands to ask questions about stuff that was covered in the hour we missed, we should expect the response to be a simple “You’re going to need to get someone’s notes on that,”

or “That was covered in Chapter 1—go back and read it.”

No one would expect a professor to go over material that’s already been covered for the student who showed up an hour into class. And no one should expect them not to find those questions annoying.

Yes, it is good that we’re here. There's no question about that. But we’re late to a class that’s already in session and that’s the dynamic we should expect.

The most respectful thing we can do is recognize our lateness, then quickly take a seat, open our books, and listen like someone's life depends on it. Because it does.