Thread by @SubHouston

I was asked, "Are lots of women really into rough sex (facef*cking, hair-pulling, choking, etc.)? Or they just won't admit it?" and I thought it would make an interesting discussion topic. (Thanks @OCBo9 )

Women and Rough Sex (NSFW)
THREAD 1/

Disclaimers:
a) I'm not writing *on behalf of* all women, so don't special snowflake me or gripe about generalizations;
b) I identify as a sub (submissive), but that's a relatively recent addition to my life after years of vanilla sex.

In other words, your results may vary.
2/

There are actually 2 parts to this subject:
1. What is rough sex?
2. Do women enjoy it?
The first is relatively easy to answer. Rough sex is typically man-in-control and physical. Hair pulling, throwing the girl around the bed, facef*cking, choking, BDSM, etc.
There's levels.
3/

And it's the levels of roughness where there are differences in women's desire for rough sex.

When women talk about 'rough sex' it's usually more about DOMINANCE instead of pain. When a man dominates or controls during sex, it feels "rough"... bc men are stronger than women.
4/

So "rough sex" could mean anything from energetic vanilla-y missionary man-on-top where the man restrains her arms or controls and directs the action... all the way to "full" BDSM: cuffs, floggers, ropes, whips, chains, etc.

Notice that this is a huge spectrum.

5/

As an aside...
Lots of folks would reference 50 Shades of Gray here when talking about BDSM.

I won't.

That guy wasn't a Dom; he was an abusive stalker.

There are way better books, fiction and non-fiction, about BDSM that provide a far more accurate portrayal.
6/

And we're back.
Now that you understand that "rough sex" means a lot of different things to different people, we can start to look at whether women are really into it or not.

First, it should be noted, there are some racial differences to address.
Yes, I'm going to go there.
7/

Don't get bent yet, let me explain.
My Latina friends absolutely LOVE rough sex, the rougher the better.
Most of my Black friends absolutely will NOT consider BDSM, esp. being tied up or whipped, for what should be obvious (historical) reasons.
My White friends: mixed views.
8/

That said, ALL, and I do mean *ALL* of my female friends, regardless of race, talk about wanting a man to be ~IN CONTROL~ during sex.
(I'm not friends w/ any Dommes; they're different.)

Whether my friends use words like "control," "dominate," or "real man," it's the same.
9/

Women are hardwired to need male dominance during sex.
(Some of us are just wired harder for it than others.)

Thus, most women will respond positively to an aggressive kiss, intermittent spanking, and light hair-pulling.
10/

That just-above-vanilla level of dominance may be all a man needs to establish control & provide exciting "rough" sex for some women.

This is key: a novel sexual experience of any kind, but particularly rough/dominant sex, is going to make a huge impression on a woman.
11/

Assuming a girl has already indicated she's willing to have sex, I'm all for a man then taking control & acting without asking "is this okay?" every other minute (because then he breaks frame and loses dominance and in so doing, makes a dry desert out of her vajayjay.)

BUT.
12/

Once you get into more hardcore BDSM-type stuff, you really *really* should talk about it together first.

Chaining a girl to your bed who isn't expecting to be chained to the bed is going to freak her out big time. (And may result in jail time.)
13/

As far as whether a girl will admit she's into rough sex, it's highly individual... seems to depend a lot on upbringing, age, religion, etc.

Start small (light hairpulling, one a$$ smack, etc.) and gauge her response.

If a smack = panty drop, good to go to the next level.
14/

Those of us on the more hardcore BDSM spectrum not only admit we're into it, but also frequently DO advertise.
(Ex. HoustonSUBgirl)

BDSM is not for everyone and partners with similar kinks can be hard to find.

Ask me how I know.
15/

Obviously, there are a lot of nuances that can't be addressed completely in a twitter thread.

For me, "rough sex" is not only enjoyable, it's necessary.

And on some level, whichever part of the rough sex spectrum it is... AWALT.

END