Thread by @CrouchingMDBias

Dear white people and non-Black POC "allies"- especially AAPI- sharing anti-racist tips on social media & supporting Black businesses is good, but I need you to know that the substantive work comes at a direct cost to your own personal & professional well-being. A thread...
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In 2016, I got to know a pregnant🤰🏾who established prenatal care w/ me. She described her job as a tour guide in the city, how she loved history, but didn’t identify with the narratives told on the job. “It’s not really my history as a mixed woman, you know?”
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I nodded in agreement. My story as a 2nd gen Chinese 🇺🇸woman- granddaughter of undocumented Paper Sons who took advantage of the 1906 earthquake/🔥that destroyed immigration records- was never something I learned in school. Our shared sense of otherness was palpable.
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She went into labor 1st week of July. I was called to the hospital bright & early- excited to have her finally meet her 👶🏾 boy. It was an amazing birth. New mom/grandmas ecstatic. No dry eyes in house. And baby showered mom in pee before dad could even cut the cord.
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I texted my partner on the way to clinic-“healthy mom, healthy baby!”
He asked if I’d checked the news or social media.
“Nope!” Was still riding baby catching high.
I was advised to avoid media until I was ready.
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A patient who rescheduled w/ me later in day asked how the delivery went.
“Great! But I was told not to watch the news”
She shook her head sadly. “There’s something wrong with this world.”
I took her word for it stayed off my phone.
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I called my good residency friend after work. She broke the news to me. Yet another unarmed Black man, Philando Castile, was murdered at the hands of a police officer- right at home in MN.

I couldn’t sleep. I hurt&grieved for the world that my newest patient was born into
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I needed my workplace to acknowledge this injustice faced by our Black patients and coworkers. So I wrote an organization-wide email advocating for solidarity and recognition of the love/humanity deserved by Black people, everywhere. I hit send.
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The response was quick. I was called into a meeting w/ the 👨🏼‍⚕️CMO & 👩🏼‍💼HR the next business day. Told that I was “making Caucasians uncomfortable” & could only invite ppl to partake in dialogue.

Meanwhile, many 👩🏾clinic staff emailed me directly thanking me for the message.
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From that day on, the clinic management & “leaders” did everything in their power to make my professional life hell. Bullied my medical assistants until they quit. Ignored my suggestions for workflow improvement. Called me unprofessional in performance review.
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I was invited into a management meeting, only to be verbally accosted to tears in front of 3 other MD “colleagues.” Forced to attend “feedback” meetings for weeks on end. Given the cold shoulder. My already tenuous mental health plummeted. The silence of many was deafening
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They gave me shit about reasonable accommodations/FMLA for which I sought for preexisting depression. Micromanaged my PTO. Sent me nasty emails.

The only people at work who supported me during this shitty time were my patients. My #BIPOC patients encouraged self-care.

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My #BIPOC patients asked me how I was- genuinely- & expressed their appreciation. When I announced my departure, they were the first to cry, but also the first to tell me that I needed to, for me. Because they actually care about the humanity of their family doctor
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Do I regret sending that email? Absolutely fucking not. It was the right thing to do. But it taught me 2 lessons:
1. My job was racist
2. The silence & “what did you expect?” from other ppl was refreshingly suffocating/oppressive. Silence has never made me feel more alone
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So, white & non-Black #AAPI POC. You can protest & tweet & buy from Black-owned business, but without ACTUALLY confronting race in spaces that are not talking about race, you are still not doing enough. It’s excruciating work. There’s no immediate reward. But if you are...
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...pissed about anti-Asian Covid racism, then you need to be pissed about anti-Black racism. There is only one kind of white supremacy, & it is a many-headed beast that tricks you into believing in bootstraps and “model minorities.” #AsianTwitter #AsiansForBlackLives ✊🏽
/END