If you want to understand the Robin DiAngelo phenomenon, read this. It's FASCINATING. You'll think it isn't about DiAngelo, but it is -- specifically the type of Gen X/Boomer white liberal who made her the most popular author in the country
whatever.scalzi.com/2020/06/11/gen…
whatever.scalzi.com/2020/06/11/gen…
2/ One of the more important concepts to recognize here is socialization disguised as education. The journey is treated as educational but really it is just about explaining to someone what the right (very specific, very idiosyncratic) moral claims and behaviors are.
3/ DiAngelo's book has a lot of specific etiquette recommendations. It's okay for white people to cry, for example, but not around black people. Scalzi's post is mostly concerned with metaphysical claims about trans people's gender status, less so how they are treated.
4/ In both cases, the ONLY way to "get it" is to accept claims some people might have good-faith disagreement with, but which in no way would prevent them from treating the oppressed groups in question decently. It's all very religious.
5/ One reason to not trust these people to make and enforce the rules is the rules can change quickly. For example, Scalzi himself appears to be violating the orthodoxy that gender identity is NOT fluid. That's the whole argument for youth transition! 
