Thread by @MarkFrancois12

Extracts from the plague diary of Mar ne-Francois-Pepys

June 16th 1665

Up and to the Ministry of Patriotism & Service Stations where we did discourse about the school victualling business, when word comes from Johnson’s fridge by way of alphabites and magnets that while

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our government will do ‘whatever it takes’ be it millions of shillings on a new Royal Yacht, extensive provision of soundbites or losing its shit about statues, that does not extend to feeding poor children. Outside a horrible crowd and lamentable moan of those that lie

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starving in the streets does trouble me to the heart and at noon when we were to go through them, a whole hundred followed; some cursing, some swearing, and some praying, and I tried to explain that I sat in a bath of beans at Comic Relief and stipulated none of the money

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should go abroad, and that also I offered the beans to Almshouses after but they were rejected because of the pubes, and none listened, preoccupied as they were with starving, and at night come two waggons of food to my lock-up in Dagenham from young

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Captain Rashford who we hears is worth sixty million shillings and has raised twenty million to this cause, and after him comes alabaster capitalist Rees-Mogg, who we hear is worth perhaps one hundred million, and has raised none, instead most pleased that his veg-funds have

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taken short positions on all the local food banks that when they collapse he may make a killing, and displaying the extreme common sense of a pseudo-academic tax-dodging quasar (that he has an enormous recessional velocity) he warns me not to feed children directly as

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this encourages them, but we must be getting people to buy trainers on credit cards to provision a faltering economy instead, that this is the only proper way to raise up the ravenous, and so he took all the food to burn as tribute to the great Somerset God Anubis, and we

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parted and walking home perplexed, I am come close by the bearers with a dead corpse of the plague; but, Lord! to see what custom is, that I am come almost to think nothing of it with so many gone already. So to my lodging, and there a grand meal of Dominoes two for Tuesday,

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which made it very easy to forget about the children whose free school meals were about to stop. Choc Ice. Bed.