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The Devil’s Dictionary (of Law)

@TheBharatChugh
barandbench.com/columns/the-de…
Acquittal: Technically, an exoneration. But given the fact that in India the process itself is a punishment, it is a victory that is more devastating than defeat.

Bail: A state of temporary release from jail only to be confined by one’s own possibilities in life.
Date: Difficult for a young struggling lawyer to get, both inside and outside the court.

Hostile Witness: Who says crime doesn’t pay? It does, should you change sides.
Kesavananda Bharati: A case that a lawyer quotes more often than any other case and still gets away without ever reading it in full. (Kesavananda Bharati vs State Of Kerala is 676 pages on PDF)
Leading Questions: Questions that demand ‘Yes!’ or ‘No!’ responses to Catch 22 (and-impossible-to-answer-in-yes-or-no) questions such as: “Have you stopped beating your husband?”
Minimum Wage: An amount that the young litigator tries to secure for his client, but possibly not for herself.

Moot Court: Something that one wishes one had done more of in law school, when one ends up calling the judge “Sir” or “Madam” on the first day in court.
Review Petition: Another bite at the cherry. Also, something that you convince the client to pursue, if not for any other reason, but for the sheer pleasure of being able to say stuff like : “Melords, finality is good, but justice is better!” in court and turn around and exit
Registry (Court): Please write to the author if you figure this one out.

Senior Advocate: The reason that you didn’t go to engineering or med school and came to law school instead. The carrot part in the ‘carrot and stick’ of the legal profession.
Undertrial: Somebody who has kissed his rights and the Constitution good-bye at the prison gates. Also, one with a bad case or a bad lawyer, or both.
Witness Protection Programme in India: Error 404. Webpage not found!.
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