Dutch heat is special in that it draws groundwater to the surface and forces it with great pressure into the bodies of the nation's inhabitants, who wander around like sweating zombies in search of waterways, ponds and pools where they can release the fluid into the environment.
The Netherlands is basically a delta marsh with houses and roads floating on it, some of Europe’s biggest rivers pass through the country and it rains approximately 300 days a year, but after three sunny days people start whispering the word “droogte” as if it’s the Sahara.
The Dutch words for "weather" and "again" are the same (weer), because we go on and on about the weather again and again, until you have downloaded all the forecasting apps, at which point we tell you that we go out regardless of the weather, because we are "not made of sugar".
Dutch scientist Constantijn Huygens invented weather in 1632, at which time he decided that the Dutch words for "outdoors" (buiten) and "extremely shit weather" (buien) should be almost identical, as they are virtually indistinguishable in the Netherlands.
Huygens sold the plans for weather to the British Geographical Society in 1637 and advised the Dutch and British governments that they might improve their weather by moving their countries nearer to the equator. He was joking, of course, but they had already boarded their ships.
Historically, the Dutch believe that heatwaves go hand-in-hand with various diseases. Even today you will hear Dutch people say: "Ik zweet me de tyfus/tering/kolere/pleuris." Which roughly translates as: "I am sweating myself into a bout of typhoid/consumption/cholera/pleurisy."
As the summer lasts only two or three days here, the Dutch have seized the opportunity to spend less on clothing and more on herring & liquorice ice-cream, which is why any warmish day will bring out summer fashions dating back to the early 1970s, which never needed replacing.
Many Dutch proverbs are inspired by the weather and the typical Dutch penchant for the obvious. The Dutch version of "Make hay while the sun shines" is the even more obvious "Set sail while the wind is blowing", a simple truth giving rise to several generations of Dutch pirates.
If the weather is good, Dutch people seize the opportunity to participate in all sorts of outdoor activities, as this video clip illustrates:
In 1937, Dutch singer Gert Kellendonk was hounded mercilessly in the Province of Limburg when his carnival song "Ik wil zingen in de regen" was first released. He eventually managed to escape to America under the name Gene Kelly, scoring a hit with the song "Singing in the Rain".
