Something I don't see screenwriters talking about is collapsing scenes, but it's something I end up doing on every script. Let's talk about why and how. (thread)
Let's say you've planned/outlined for three scenes. But then you get to it, and there's not room/space/budget for all three. This could happen on the first draft, fifth or in production. You've got to collapse them down, but how?
An example. Let's say you have these three scenes:
A) Denise and Alphonso notice a strange smell.
B) They search the house, and discover a family of raccoons in the attic
C) The animal removal guy hits on Denise in front of Alphonso
A) Denise and Alphonso notice a strange smell.
B) They search the house, and discover a family of raccoons in the attic
C) The animal removal guy hits on Denise in front of Alphonso
This sequence could be fine and funny as is! But if you need to collapse it, you have a few basic options. All of which are better done in writing than in the editing room.
Option 1: Move A into B.
Lose the scene where they notice the smell. Instead, they're already searching, and you set up what they're searching for while it's happening.
Lose the scene where they notice the smell. Instead, they're already searching, and you set up what they're searching for while it's happening.
Option 2: Move B into C.
They notice the smell, then cut to the animal control guy having discovered the raccoons (and then hitting on Denise).
They notice the smell, then cut to the animal control guy having discovered the raccoons (and then hitting on Denise).
Option 3: Cut A and B.
If the important beat is C, you could lose the raccoons altogether. Maybe animal control guy is a plumber/mailman/postmates driver who comes to the house.
If the important beat is C, you could lose the raccoons altogether. Maybe animal control guy is a plumber/mailman/postmates driver who comes to the house.
Option 4: Cut C.
If the raccoons are more important than the animal control guy, perhaps just lose the flirting beat. Is it on-story, or just a distraction?
If the raccoons are more important than the animal control guy, perhaps just lose the flirting beat. Is it on-story, or just a distraction?
Option 5: Cut all of these and rethink.
Sometimes this really is the best choice. Always ask yourself why this sequence is here. Is there a better, more efficient way to achieve that purpose?
Sometimes this really is the best choice. Always ask yourself why this sequence is here. Is there a better, more efficient way to achieve that purpose?
In my experience, what almost never works is trying to make A, B and C shorter. Three truncated scenes will often just feel like speed bumps.
Last bit of collapsing advice: Try to forget what you-the-writer want and think about it from the reader/viewer perspective. Particularly in the third act, they may want to be done. So combine your payoffs as much as possible. (/end)
