“Multiple submissions argued that the increasing use of the term ‘parental alienation’ could silence children.”
- If children have been alienated, then their wishes and feelings are seen as contaminated.
- A parent who is the subject of the allegation will be treated as an ‘alienator’, rather than as a protective parent with well-founded fears around abduction or violence.
🚩🚩🚩“ A number of submissions raised concerns about professionals jumping to a conclusion that a child refusing to spend time with an abusive parent had been alienated, rather than considering the refusal to be a result of an abusive parent’s behaviour. “ 🚩🚩🚩 #familycourts
NB : “This definition of parental alienation is not recognised as one which is utilised, or applied, by the Family Court, by all of the panel members, in particular those for the Association of Lawyers for Children and judicial panel members”
“ Others noted that professionals were too ready to see signs of alienation, and so silencing children, rather than assessing further what the child may have witnessed or experienced.”
“ several submissions from fathers drew a distinction between the child’s expressed and real wishes and feelings and argued that expressed wishes against contact should not be taken literally. “
Some fathers in DVIP focus group said they had also thought that their children’s reported views must have been influenced by their mothers, as those views did not accord with narrative they had in their minds (e.g. children were in bed, had heard nothing, were very young etc)
They admitted they had previously had NO UNDERSTANDING of the impact of their abuse on their children, but taking the course had helped them understand the trauma caused even to the very youngest children from living with abuse.
🚩🚩🚩 Thus, while ‘alienation’ may have become a common counter-allegation, submissions highlighted the very real dangers of accepting this as the default explanation for children not wanting contact. 🚩🚩🚩
First and foremost, a climate where bullies are rewarded.
When they’re not held to account but rewarded with getting their own way because others are too scared to confront them, that is the perfect Petri dish for #coercivecontrol
Different rules for different people.
Making allowances for, or ignoring bullying/inappropriate/abusive behaviours of people we like or admire.
Holding them to a lower standard because they’re family, or a celebrity, or wealthy, or we benefit in some way from looking away.
I detest the term *parental alienation* with a passion and now I won’t use it.
It used to be called ‘Threat Therapy’.
A🧵
I’ve been told, frequently, that not all perpetrators are men, that mums get *alienated* too and that denying the existence of PA means denying that abusers DO and WILL maliciously sever a relationship between parent and child.
And yes, all of the above IS true.
But refusing to use that term is NOT the same as denying that this happens.
So, for avoidance of doubt, here is why I believe the term *parental alienation* should not be used:
Adolf Eichmann was aided by a Franciscan monk who helped him obtain an Argentine visa and who signed an application for a falsified Red Cross passport.
Eichmann masterminded the Nazi network of death camps that resulted in the murder of approximately 6 million Jews.
Josef Mengele fled to Argentina with the help of a Catholic clergy member.
Nicknamed the “Angel of Death” he conducted experiments at Auschwitz particularly on twins, pregnant women and the disabled. Mengele even tortured and killed children with his medical experiments.
“On one occasion, she said, male officers taped her phone to the ceiling, telling her: “We’re gonna watch your arse when you climb on the table.””
How a dead officer’s iPhone exposes misogyny, corruption and racism in a police force
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Ricky Jones, a retired police officer knew where many of Gwent police’s skeletons were buried, but it wasn’t until his death that his own began to emerge.
In 2020, he jumped to his death from a bridge.
He left behind his wife and three daughters.
To the outside world Jones was a respected former copper and family man. But behind closed doors he subjected his family to decades of #domesticabuse.