1/ Although I do whatever I can to flatten power hierarchies with my students, this is one place that my Blackness and my woman-ness won’t let me go.
A thread.
I CANT give you license to call me by my first name if you are a learner. Why?
A thread.
I CANT give you license to call me by my first name if you are a learner. Why?
2/ Because my Blackness and woman-ness mean I am not respected by those around me at baseline, despite being Ivy League educated and a physician.
Despite playing your game for over 30 years and relentlessly grinding and hustling and pushing to get your accolades so you see me…
Despite playing your game for over 30 years and relentlessly grinding and hustling and pushing to get your accolades so you see me…
3/ …and think I matter and speaking the way you want me to and straightening my hair and hiding from you my Blackness and the extent of the violence you visit on black bodies like mine to keep YOU comfortable (so I have a prayer of you actually listening to me this time and…
4/ …getting you to stop traumatizing/dis-investing/killing us) and and and and and and and and... Nah.
5/ My baseline reality as a Black young female working mother to literally everyone in the academy (other than with other Black people) is that I will always have to prove my worth to white people to be taken seriously.
6/ Non-Black people’s baseline assumption of me is ineptitude. Their assumption is mal-intent if I speak out. Of militant posturing. Sometimes, when my opponents are particularly unhinged, they will even go so far as to imply I desire the physical destruction of white people.
7/ That would be amusing if it wasn't for the fact that white people believing that about me literally places my life in danger.
White rage is lethal to black bodies after all.
White rage is lethal to black bodies after all.
8/ (To be clear - I dream of the destruction of whiteness, not the destruction of white bodies - a critical distinction, which, white people do not typically have the racial literacy to easily grasp, but should seek to).
9/ These assumptions are 100% there about me, and other Black people regardless of our degrees, how well we dress, how “well-spoken” we are or how kind or hardworking we are.
There is no room for error. That is why we have to be "perfect" to be taken seriously.
There is no room for error. That is why we have to be "perfect" to be taken seriously.
10/ That is the origin of the "Black tax" we all know so well when we are #BlackintheIvory.
It’s these and similar unspoken beliefs of me that are held by my white patients, the white people I work beside and even the white students/learners under my charge.
It’s these and similar unspoken beliefs of me that are held by my white patients, the white people I work beside and even the white students/learners under my charge.
11/ And because that belief is hidden in their subconscious, and is surrounded by layers of equally unexamined defenses, I am simultaneously robbed of the ability to meaningfully call the white people around me out about it.
12/ I can't because they have convinced themselves that they CANT be racist because they are good people.
Here’s the thing. The vast majority of white people are good. Just like the vast majority of ANY racial group, including Black people, are good.
Here’s the thing. The vast majority of white people are good. Just like the vast majority of ANY racial group, including Black people, are good.
13/ Most white people are good, AND most white people are racist.
Most white people are good, AND most white people believe in their subconscious that White people are inherently superior to all other races, and Black people are inferior to them and all others.
Most white people are good, AND most white people believe in their subconscious that White people are inherently superior to all other races, and Black people are inferior to them and all others.
14/ This is not a theory. This is how basic socialization works.
Still there? Stay with me a bit longer, because it gets even more insane when I factor in the fact that I am deeply racist myself.
Yep.
Still there? Stay with me a bit longer, because it gets even more insane when I factor in the fact that I am deeply racist myself.
Yep.
15/ I'm saying that I, and every other Black person - and every other HUMAN who grew up in this country - are deeply racist.
I am just as racist as every white person I meet.
I am just as racist as every white person I meet.
16/ Because just like them, I was also conditioned to hold the racist idea that White people are superior to me, and that me, as a Black person, is inherently inferior to them.
The soul work of being Black is unlearning the myth of my own inherent inferiority.
The soul work of being Black is unlearning the myth of my own inherent inferiority.
17/ The soul work of being Black is unlearning the myth of the inherent superiority of white people.
18/ But let me be very clear here: The very same soul work I have to do - the work of unlearning these harmful and false messages I’ve been taught since I took my first breath - is the exact same soul work white people have to do.
19/ The soul work of being a white Antiracist is unlearning the myth of your own inherent superiority.
The soul work of a white Antiracist is unlearning the myth of the inherent inferiority of Black people, Indigenous people and People of Color.
The soul work of a white Antiracist is unlearning the myth of the inherent inferiority of Black people, Indigenous people and People of Color.
20/ I don't know about you, but I’m ready to try to free myself of these beliefs. I am no longer willing to let them shape my life, my relationships, my hopes and my dreams.
21/ I’m ready to do the lifelong work of learning to “see” my racist programming and consistently struggle against it.
And so..
I refuse to continue to perform for white people to keep them comfortable. I MUST refuse to do that in order to be an Antiracist.
And so..
I refuse to continue to perform for white people to keep them comfortable. I MUST refuse to do that in order to be an Antiracist.
22/ To NOT do this is to accept living an unauthentic life until I die.
To NOT do this is for me to be racist.
That simply does not sit well in my soul.
I cannot and will not do it any longer.
I want to be whole. I want to be seen.
And not just by Black people.
To NOT do this is for me to be racist.
That simply does not sit well in my soul.
I cannot and will not do it any longer.
I want to be whole. I want to be seen.
And not just by Black people.
23/ By all people. I want all people to see my essence and I want to see theirs, without the psychological wall of these horrible beliefs separating us like a vast ocean.
That is how you heal while Black.
That is also how you heal while white.
That is how you heal while Black.
That is also how you heal while white.
24/ If you understand this, you understand how you be an Antiracist.
This in reference to the excellent thread by @gradydoctor which you NEED to read:
