"There isn't any iceberg.”
“There is an iceberg, but it's in a totally different ocean.”
“The iceberg is in this ocean, but it will melt very soon.”
“There is an iceberg, but we didn't hit the iceberg.”
“The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg.”
“We are taking on water, but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats.”
“We don't have any lifeboats, we're not lifeboat distributors.”
“Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats.”
“I really don't think we need that many lifeboats.”
“The lifeboats were left onshore by the last captain of this ship.”
“Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg. "
“I don’t take any responsibility at all.”