Extracts from the plague diary of Mark ne-Francois-Pepys
July 7th 1665
Up, and to Raaber’s barbers for a trim and Johnson is there as well having booked in for an heircut thinking this the vasectomy clinic, but stays the same for a short, back and deliberately disheveled
1/5
July 7th 1665
Up, and to Raaber’s barbers for a trim and Johnson is there as well having booked in for an heircut thinking this the vasectomy clinic, but stays the same for a short, back and deliberately disheveled
1/5
and we begged him to shut up upon the great point of his inability to not say ‘world-beating’ every third breath, mighty pleasant and after for a walk to Chingford and a pleasant crate of Kestrel Super and having no great mind to be found idling and being mighty weary
2/
2/
I lay down by the canaille and slept awhile thinking of a lampoone which hath run in my head this weeke of my adventures as the Rayleigh Pimpernel, at once a foppish dandy belike Joey Essex, but one that does lead a secret life as a chivalrous patriot who rescues sunburnt
3/
3/
ex-pats from theme-bars on the Costa ere Brextoration travel rules are enforced; being asked to move on by the Aldermen put it out of my head and I to the 99p shop for a new potty for Bridgen and more beer from the garage and walking in great pain having left my
4/
4/
shoes at the canal, got a coach, in my way drinking a great deale of Nesquicke to take away my heartburne, that all the way home I did break abundance of wind behind, which did presage no good and in pain and fear of more, which accordingly I met with, all night long
5/
5/
of the winde griping of my belly and making me shit often and vomit too, which is a thing not usual with me, and this I impute to the Nesquicke that I drank too much of after my sixteen cans of beer. Alka Seltzer. Bed.
