Thread by @_crazynairobian

Ukipatwa kwakina dem ni heri utoke mbio uwache akijitetea kuliko ujifiche, mimi nililala chini ya bed kwakina dem just so that asikuwe in trouble na bado tuliwachana. 🤡

Bado mi hukumbuka hii kitu inani traumatize, juu hiyo siku nilienda huko na aim ya kujua kwao just incase in future tutakuja Ruracio nijue ni wapi tunaleta ng'ombe za mahari.

Alafu nakumbuka dem alikuwa amenisho mamake ni mwalimu so obviously hatakuwa around hadi majioni ndio atoke shule, nikajua the coast is clear... Nikajua pakaa akitoka Sewer rat hutawala 🤡🤡

But kufika huko vitu zili happen so fast, one minute nakunywa chai, the next minute dem ananikunywa na looks, coz kuna haka kashetani hukuja mkiwa tu watu wawili kwa nyumba huwadanganya cuddling is harmless.

Nyumba yao ilikuwa two bedroom, bedroom moja ilikuwa ina act kama master bedroom ya mamake, bedroom ingine ilikuwa yake but pia ilikuwa ina double up kama jikoni pia... In short, dem alikuwa analala jikoni, no wonder alikuwa ameivaa 👀

So tuki cuddle damu ika rush from the right head to the wrong head, so nikawacha kutumia the right head kufikiria nikaanza kutumia the wrong head kufikiria, the wrong head wanted to get some na juu tulikuwa home alone tukajiambia Why Not?

Unacheza na kitu haina mifupa lakini inaweza flex, kitu iko na balls to drive you crazy, it's one purpose is to fuck up your life... Underline Fuck. 😭

So tukacheza na manguo kama Street vendors wa Gikomba, kitanda yake ilikuwa 4 by 6 so ni obvious tulifinyana, her body was the temple of God so miguu zilifunguka like church on a Sunday morning nikaingia the promised land.

By the time I was done with her, wote tulikuwa tumechoka ni kama tulikuwa Mjengo, alafu kitu ikatudanganya tujiwekele kidogo tulale ku catch a breath before nianze safari ya kurudi kwetu.

Kulala kidogo mvua ikaanza, tukaona tujifunike gubi gubi hadi mvua iishe.

Wanasema usingizi ni tamu na tena ni sumu, tulijipata tunaamka 4:30, kitu ilituamsha ni sauti ya nduthi nje.

Wote tulikuwa bado ndethe juu after copulation hakuna mtu alikuwa na nguvu ama time ya kuvaa nguo ndio tujiwekelee kulala 😭

Si tukaanza kuvaa nguo mbio mbio, by the time I'm done mamake alikuwa kwa mlango, so the only option ilikuwa kuchomoka kutoka jikoni mbio ama kujificha, dem akadai niingie chini ya bed

Hatukuwa na time ya ku debate, guts zangu zilikuwa zinasema nitoke mbio, heart yangu ilikuwa inasema niskize dem, this time nilikuwa natumia  the right head kufikiria and my head was telling me niskize dem.

Guys, always love with your brain not your heart, wachia moyo kazi yake ya ku pump damu... Jamaa nikajitupa chini ya kitanda mbio mbio. Instinct zikaniambia niweke simu silent mode... It was a Smart move for a dumb guy 😭

Huyo mama akaingia direct hadi jikoni, aka place groceries chini, after pleasantries na mtoto wake wakakaa chini kwa kiti moto hizi za jikoni wakaamua kuwekelea chai wakipiga mushene.

Hapo chini ya bed nilikuwa najipendua kama chapati, alafu simiti ilikuwa cold AF juu kulikuwa kumenyesha, mwili ilikuwa imeganda na feel ni kama niko Chiromo mortuary nangoja postmortem

Nilikuwa naona tu miguu, ungedhani niko kwa Cartoon set ya Cow and Chicken. Mama na mtoto walikuwa wanapiga mushene like nonzenz, msichana mrembo lakini ako na mdomo kushinda Diamond 🤡

Dem anajifanya Virgin Mary kumbe chini ya kitanda ameficha evidence ya bad manners.
Hawa ndio wale unalipia Uber wakuje sleep over alafu kitu wanakupikia ni indomie na strungi na wana expect fire strokes but instead unawapea your sloppy 10 seconds kama jogoo.

Alafu atashinda ameringa beshte zake vile "Sex was so good he called to see if I'd gotten home safe" kumbe unataka kujua kama it's safe kuwekelea maji ya ugali upike heavy breakfast juu ulilala njaa.

Hapo chini ya bed nilikuwa namalizwa na ulcers na appetite juu harufu ya vitungu zimekaragwa zilikuwa all over... Hakuna kitu mbaya kama uko na njaa na umejificha jikoni, ilikuwa mental and emotional torture.

Three hours niki shit butt cheeks hapo chini ya bed juu ya kuganda, nilikuwa na rotate pole pole kama earth kwa axis ndio nisi make a sound mama ya dem ajue they're not alone. After 3 gruesome hours waka left jikoni.

Ilikuwa already 8, giza imeingia, kuangalia simu niko na seven missed calls za mathe alikuwa ana call ku confirm kama nakuja ama sikuji... Imagine kupea mzazi wako pressure juu ya raha ya mwili ya only 2 minutes ikiienda sana.

Dem akarudi kuniwekea supper hapo chini ya bed ni kama mimi ni paka, mtu ako chini ya bed amelalia tumbo, una expect akule aje? Kama nyoka? Niko kwa floor napata "limonia" juu ya mapenzi... Enyewe love is STUPID.

Kitu 10:30 hapo ndio dem akakuja kuniambia naweza toka chini ya bed nikuje kulala, nilikuwa hapo chini looking like Dedan Kimathi's famous portrait ile siku alishikwa na wabeberu wakampeleka compulsory photoshoot 😭😭

Kesho yake ilikuwa niamke saa kumi asubuhi nirudi chini ya bed juu mamake huamka mapema ku prepare kuenda shule, the clown in me badala ya ku step hiyo asubuhi nikarudi maposition chini ya bed hiyo asubuhi...

Nilikuwa nimejikunja ndani ya blanketi kama rolex... Kumbe ilikuwa good Friday na mamake haendi shule. 🤡🤡🤡

Nilikaa hapo chini ya kitanda from saa kumi ya asubuhi hadi 8 asubuhi vile mamake ali step out kidogo ndio nika make my escape... Ilikuwa kama escape from sabibo. Nili feel kama Michael Scofield after that escape.

What am I trying to say? After all this bado tulikosana juu ya small small miscommunications... Sometimes you can sacrifice yourself for someone's happiness but kitu unafaa kujua ni FOCUS on YOURSELF, don't be a clown.